Like most of us up here on the "other" side of the 48th parallel, following the US election Primaries runup is both interesting and quite entertaining at times - especially with the race between Democrat contenders Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. That "competition" has progressed from civility to downright nasty to "silly". The latest appeal, in an attempt to appease Labour in some northern states, involves renegotiating the NAFTA (North American Free Trade) agreement. That agreement, signed in 1992 is basically as the name implies - tariff-free movement of goods between the two countries (as well as Mexico who signed the agreement too). To make a long story short, as far as Canada is concerned there will be no negotiation and the agreement will remain intact. The US has some cause to be concerned about the agreement but in those cases, it invariably involves Mexican trade - where Mexico's low labour costs undermine the US (and to a degree, Canadian) labour market. The podium rhetoric coming from Clinton and Obama suggests that the US will demand change, it's political and economic clout being the leverage necessary to persuade Canada and Mexico into change. Well, surprise-time! As far as Canadian trade under NAFTA is concerned, it simply "ain't gonna happen"! It is a sad statement but a true one, to suggest that the average American has no clue about what cessation of the agreement with Canada could mean to the US. The average US citizen would be flabbergasted to learn that Canada is, by far, the largest supplier of oil, natural gas and electricity to the US. Combine that with the proven fact that the Canadian NAFTA agreement really does not cost American jobs and you have a scenario that all these promises to "renegotiate" NAFTA will simply not happen as such renegotiation would only result in Canada's position being improved - to the detriment of the US. Of course, that statement will bring the US "Hawks" out of the woodwork as any "threat" to oil, gas or electricity supply to the US could, in their minds, be answered with the threat of US military intervention. Good luck there folks! Canada is not even close to being a military match to the us - nor does it ever want to be - but what military strength it can muster could be a real problem to any US military aggression. Back in 1974, ex-general Richard Rhomer wrote a book titled "Exxoneration" (Simon & Schuster & Pocket Books - # 671-80368-9, also published by McLellan & Stewart 1976) involving Esso Canada buying out Exxon in the US, and restricting energy flow to the US as a result of a harsh winter - resulting in hardship south of the border. The US response was to "bully" and attempt a military invasion. Bad decision - it did not work militarily and was eventually squashed due to international involvement. Good reading, even in today's theatre where technology has improved substantially.

So, Senators Clinton and Obama - we respect your appeals to the Labour force in an attempt to sway votes, but be realistic... stop touting "clout" and respect what the agreement presently does for you - and speaking of a forced renegotiation is really "hollow words" to those who know what the true situation is. Never forget that Canada is a small country compared to the US and has a small military but by all international standards, probably the best-trained in the world (sorry - but that is a fact) and back in WW2, although it's population was half of what it is today, Canada was able to put 1,000,000 men in the field and by war's end had the thrid largest navy in the world! Not bad for a small nation!! So please speak with reason and stop the political rhetoric - just in case some dolt in the US Congress starts seriously thinking without all the facts.

Americans, we actually like you and get along fine with you - we are so alike in many ways - but please get your politicians in line! Silly statements we can ignore... but if anyone gets serious... different story!
'nuff said.

I am a Canadian. One voter out of millions of Canadian voters. Paul Martin is no friend of mine. Liberal governments have not made my life any better. Liberal governments have made the future worse for my children. Jean Chretien of the Liberal Party became Prime Minister many years ago. Guess who was the Liberal Finance Minister .....Paul Martin...LEST WE FORGET.

Since 1993:
(1) My taxes have increased.
(2) My family's share of the national debt has increased.
(3) My personal expenses have increased.
(4) My waiting time to see a doctor has increased.
(5) My concerns for my family's safety have increased.
(6) My costs to educate my children have increased.
(7) Government interference in my life has increased.
(8) My personal debt has increased.
(9) My income has stayed more! or less the same.
(10) My savings have decreased.
(11) The buying power of my dollar, in Canada, has decreased.
(12) The value of my dollar, in the U.S., has decreased.
(13) My trust of elected officials has decreased.
(14) My trust in the justice system has decreased.
(15 )My trust in the immigration system has decreased.
(16) My hope that a Liberal won't waste my tax dollars has decreased.
(17 )My dreams for a better future for my kids, in Canada, have disappeared.

That is my story since the Liberals came to power. I am not voting for Paul Martin's Liberals. I am voting against Paul Martin and his Liberal Party in January. I am voting for Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party. Do I like the Conservatives? Not particularly......I don't really like Politics. I am not political by nature. I am not passionate about politics. I am a middle age ! guy (48). I live in a small house on a fairly quiet street in Edmonton. I have a wife and two children. I have no pets. I am a middle class man. I don't usually say too much. Until now. Now I am going to say something!

In 35 of the past 37 years, Canada has been ruled by:
(1) Pierre Trudeau- a multi-millionaire lawyer from Quebec.
(2) Brian Mulroney - a multi-millionaire lawyer from Quebec.
(3) Jean Chretien - a multi-millionaire lawyer from Quebec.
(4) And now we are going to vote for Paul Martin???? - a multi-millionaire lawyer from Quebec???

The leader of the Conservative party, Stephen Harper, is:
(1) Not a lawyer.
(2) Not a multi-millionaire.
(3) And best of all.. NOT FROM QUEBEC!!!

Stephen Harper says that the Conservative party will:
(1) Reduce my taxes.
(2) Pay off the national debt as fast as they can.
(3) Shrink the size and influence of the federal government.

That's good enough for me. I'm going to give the Conservative party a chance with my vote. But wait! Paul Martin is now saying the same thing. My mother told me forty years ago: "Fool me once - shame on you. Fool me twice - shame on me!" The Liberals have had 34 years to be financially responsible.Remember, Jean Chretien was Trudeau's Finance Minister. Remember also, Paul Martin was Jean Chretien's Finance Minister These people have been raising my taxes for thirty four years. They have been mis-spending my tax dollars for 34 years. 34years!!!! And now Paul Martin says he'll stop taxing and spending. No way!!

Thank you for reading my story so far! Why am I telling my story to you? Although I feel alone, I know that I am not alone. Your story may be similar to mine. And you may also feel alone. One small voter in the midst of millions of voters. What can you and I do together to change things? Here is my idea: Lets you and I join up together. Just you and I, Together. As a small team of two. How can you and I fight a huge political machine? You and I have two things that we can use:

(1) Our individual personal connections.
(2) The Internet.

The Internet is supposed to be this globalizing tool, right? Let's put it to use. I have 27 Canadians in my personal e-mail address book. I am sending this e-mail to each of them. I'm asking you to do two things:

(1) Forward this e-mail to every Canadian in your own address book.
(2) Vote against Paul Martin and the Liberal Party on January 23rd.

Vote for the Conservative candidate in your riding. I have probably written this e-mail too late. As I said I am not politically adroit. I feel like Peter Finch, in the1976 movie "Network", when he shouted: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

Please, forward the e-mail RIGHT NOW!! I hope the Internet is as fast as some people claim it is. This may not work. This e-mail may "fizzle out" and go nowhere. But you and I will have tried, won't we have? My best wishes to you. My best wishes to Canadians everywhere.

Sometimes one picture is worth a thousand words... ( Cartoons published in the Ottawa Citizen as noted )

(CLICK for larger view)
Ottawa Citizen - Friday January 6th 2006	Citizen - Friday December 30th 2005 & Caglecartoons.com

In light of the ever-increasing revelations about Liberal corruption and feelings of entitlement, and the increasing fortunes of Harper and the Conservatives, I was about to enter into a substantial "rant" about the "do's" and "dont's" to be considered on January 23d - until I saw the above cartoons in the Ottawa Citizen. What else can be said... the above cartoons spell it out quite clearly and save you, the reader, from an elongated diatripe!! I am an 'Ontar'ian" and I say to fellow Ontar'ians - let's "smarten up" and kick out the 'Corruption Party' and give Harper-et-al, a chance to prove their colours! Remember, old fears about Conservative "hidden agenda's" and "scarey Harper" originated where? ... from the "corrupt party" of course! Vote Conservative - it's time!! Enjoy!

While vacationing on a ranch, Paul Martin gets thrown from his horse, lands on a rattlesnake, gets bitten and dies because the emergency room at the nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time. So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Liberal around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer." says Martin.

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself. He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."

"But, I've already made up my mind, I want to be in Heaven," replied Martin".

I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course; the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in front of it is his Dad, and thousands of other Liberals, Conservatives and New Democrats. Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.' They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

The Devil himself comes up to Martin with a frosty drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Paul!"

"Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge," says Martin, dejectedly.

"This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry, and it just gets better from there!"

Martin takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny jokes like himself, and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like they pulled on the GST and Free Trade promises. They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Martin steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate. So for 24 hours Martin is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated like someone special!

"Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself. "Pierre Trudeau never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly in the background, Martin reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste, kind of like Sudbury. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Martin and puts an arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers a shocked Martin, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar, drank booze. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!"

Whether YOUR personal choice may be...

When will the Tail stop Wagging the Dog?

Quebec, that controversial and occasionally irritating Canadian province, has a population of 7,568,600 (as of Jan 2005) - of which 1,568,000 are aboriginals, english speaking or third language speaking peoples. That means there are +/- 6,000,000 franco-Quebeckers. Canada's population is approaching 33,000,000 which means the franco-quebeckers amount to approximately 18% of Canada's population. Quebec is "the tail"... Canada is "the dog" and again, the "tail" continues to "wag the dog" - and that is the way the outgoing and disgraced Liberal government appears to like it! For example - there has been much criticism lately due to our "about-to-become-ex" Prime Minister ignoring the recent Commonwealth Conference and also his foreign affairs minister doing likewise! This disregard for the ancient anglo Commonwealth association in favour of increasing franco association is becoming quite disturbing. Are you aware that last year, only $30 millions was allocated to the Commonwealth organization while over $50 millions was devoted to the La Francophonie? Then there is the perpetually irritating bilingualism issue! Quebec's 6 million francophones, bolstered by another million+ francophones living outside of Quebec, have dictated that Canada's bilingualism policy extend everywhere, not just to areas where francophones reside in numbers! Pure overkill! This writer has no qualms about francophone concentrations having the ability to be serviced in their native language - contrary to what Quebec forces it's resident anglophones to endure. But's lets be reasonable - the policy is out of control... Quebec through it's plethora of disproportionate francophone representation in the federal government and bureaucracy, has, and continues, to force the french language down our throats! And the cycle is worsening! In the US there is a population of over 290,000,000 and of that number, 240,000,000 speak english as a mother tongue and almost 50 million speak another language including 4 million who speak french at home. This means that over 20% of the US population speak non-english, predominantly Spanish, yet not one single US state has an official bilingualism policy! US boxes of Kellogs Corn Flakes are in english only, not Spanish and English. Up here in Canada, the federal civil service has evolved to the point where most bureaucrats and mandarins are francophone due to the increasing pressure to be competent in french as well as english. Anglophones are under no "real" urgency to learn french because, simply stated, most people do not require that knowledge for day-to-day living! The world as a whole is gravitating towards useage of english - even the emerging giants of China and India. No one, but no one, is moving toward increased useage of french - with the exception of Canada that is! Even France had to begrudgingly accept the recent changes where the European Economic Union moved to english from french as the primary working language and NATO changed the Brussels Headquarters working langguage policy to english from french as well. The trend is clear - english is and is increasingly so, becoming the prime "working language" on earth! But not Canada!

In Canada there is no true "need" to learn french - the "need" pursued by our misguided federal government is strictly a political one in an effort to shore up the Quebec vote! The danger, as we are now experiencing, is that francophones have become so well esconced in the federal structure that they, in turn, through hiring practices they themselves create, are increasing the "need" to be francophone to get into the federal civil service so - ergo - the civil service becomes even more disproportionatly francophone - and so the spiral continues! The common argument is that anglophones merely need to learn french to join the public service. That is "BS" unfortunately! In a continent of 265,000,000 anglophones, the need for french is not there and accordingly the schooling system merely pays lip service to learning french. Even those dedicated civil servants, or civil service wanna-be's who attempt learning french, quickly find out that anglophones without a "proper" sounding french language pronounciation do not "make the grade" in many cases and even if hired, do not usually progress within the francophone ranks as they should! Many anglophones with public service aims are also discouraged and enraged by the pressures to learn french when the prime french concentration in Canada, namely Quebec, is blatently discriminating against anglophones in general and the english language in particular in that province!

So how do we stop the "tail" wagging "the dog"? It may already be underway and ironically, "thanks" to the Block(head) party! The number of Liberals who will be elected in Quebec in the upcoming national election will be much fewer thanks to the Gomery scandal. The number of conservatives who will be elected will be fewer - if any. So... whichever party, Liberals or Conservatives, form the next government, will be primarily non-francophone and the dependance on Quebec will reduce as the new government, likely a minority party, will be bolstered by the NDP to remain in office. Western isolationist views combined with Canadian voter disgust at Liberal corruption and "entitlement" policies, will pressure the government to start changing their focus and views - and this will invariably include attitudes towards Quebec and the whole bilingualism issue!

And of course... if Francophone Quebeckers choose to separate, then the whole bilingualism issue will slowly go away! Most Canadians consider Quebec a demanding and unreasonable entity whose influence in our day-to-day affairs is entirely disproportionate to their numbers and unwanted. If Quebec wants to separate, then the price will be harsh - not the "take all" attitude that most separatist empathizers think is the case! There are many, including this writer, who wish there was a way Quebec could temporarily separate - much like a marriage trial separation - where they would quickly learn that being on their own would result in the "french fact" facing disaster and oblivion. In the meantime, we have to tolerate Quebec in the expectation that the election results will produce a federal government less willing to tolerate Quebec tantrums and less willing to "kiss Quebec butt"! Hopefully they will "kick" it a bit more instead - it's time! Yes, it's time!

The Ant & The Grasshopper
- Canadian style!!

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END


THE CANADIAN VERSION: So true it's scary.

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome" .

Sven Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the government confiscates his home.

The ant moves to the USA, and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

Thanks to an old classmate in NB for this one - no comments needed - the above says it all!!

... and now for something delightfully different!!!

Yours truly was about to delve into a 'rant' about yesterday's election of André Bosclair to chief honcho of the idiotic Quebec separatist party and the fact that we are about to get unindated with separatist drivel over the coming months, also, about how the Quebec police are spending more time running around checking for illegal "butter coloured" margarine than being too concerned about cocaine use and trafficking. (Boisclair's admission of past cocaine use barely raised an eyebrow in Quebec circles). Would you believe they have established a "Margarine Police" unit? Now they have "Margarine Police" as well as "Language Police" to entertain us! Wonder if the Margarine cops will have the same uniform as the goose-stepping Language cops - complete with leather jack boots, etc..

Back to my point... I was about to rant away about the above until a good friend sent the following. We tend to take our soldiers, sailors, air force and coast guard members far too much for granted these days. The following story has probably occurred many times and is well worth reading - we should NEVER forget those who helped give us the ability to live the lives we lead.

I sat in my seat of the Air Canada Boeing 767 flight waiting for everyone to hurry and stow their carry-ons and grab a seat so we could start what I was sure to be a long , uneventful flight home. With the huge capacity and slow moving people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I simply shook my head knowing that this flight was not starting out very well.

I was anxious to get home to see my loved ones so I was focused on "my" issues and just felt like standing up and yelling for some of these clowns to get their act together. I knew I couldn't say a word so I just thumbed through the magazine from the seat pocket in front of me. You know it's really getting rough when you resort to the overpriced and useless sky mall crap to break the monotony. With everyone finally seated, we just sat there with the cabin door open and no one in any apparent hurry to get us going although we were well past the scheduled take off time.

No wonder the airline industry is in trouble I told myself. Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all that we were being delayed. The entire plane let out a collective groan. She resumed speaking to say "We are holding the aircraft for some very special people who are on their way to the plane and the delay shouldn't be more than 5 minutes. The word came after waiting six times as long as we were promised that "I" was finally going to be on my way home.

Why the hoopla over "these" folks? I was expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be the reason for the hold up.........Just get their butts in a seat and lets hit the gas I thought.

The attendant came back on the speaker to announce in a loud and excited voice that we were being joined by several Canadian Soldiers returning home from Afghanistan!!! Just as they walked on board, the entire plane erupted into applause. The men were a bit taken by surprise by the 340 people cheering for them as they searched for their seats. They were having their hands shook and touched by almost everyone who was within an arm's distance of them as they passed down the aisle. One elderly woman kissed the hand of one of the Soldiers as he passed by her.

The applause, whistles and cheering didn't stop for a long time. When we were finally airborne, "I" was not the only civilian checking his conscience as to the delays in "me" getting home, finding my easy chair, a cold beverage and the remote in my hand. These men had done for all of us and I had been complaining silently about "me" and "my" issues. I took for granted the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the Canadian way of life I took for granted! Others had paid the price for my ability to moan and complain about a few minutes delay to "me" those heroes going home to their loved ones.

I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order and minutes before we landed I suggested to the attendant that she announce over the speaker a request for everyone to remain in their seats until our hero's were allowed to gather their things and be first off the plane. The cheer! s and applause continued until the last Soldier stepped off and we all rose to go about our too-often-taken-for-granted everyday freedoms......... I felt proud of them. I felt it was an honour and a privilege to be among the first to welcome them home and say 'Thank You' for a job well done. I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lesson learned.

I can't say it enough, 'THANK YOU' to those Veterans and active servicemen and women who may read this and a prayer for those who cannot because they are no longer with us.

GOD BLESS!! WELCOME HOME! AND THANKS FOR A JOB WELL DONE !!!!!

The Good... The Bad... and the somewhat Ugly!

The Good! Armistice Day, or more commonly known in the US, Veteran's Day. It was wonderful to follow the story of the 200 or so WW11 veterans who boarded the "Armistice Train" in Halifax which took them to Ottawa to attend the National Remembrance Day services. At every stop and along the way there was a continuous series of crowds and well-wishers who met at stations or waved as the train journeyed from the Maritimes to Ottawa. The number who took the time and made the effort to see the train and say "Thank You" to those wonderful men and women was heartwarming. Even more spectacular this year, was that a high percentage of those well-wishers were youngsters and teens. One of the greatest fears held by many is that time is eroding the memories of the 'dark days' - the late 30's and early 40's when almost 50 million humans lost their lives as a result of World War 2, and many younger people have little or no knowledge, or sadly, interest in that time. Seeing the younger set acknowledging our war heroes is magnificent to say the least! Also "Good" is seeing the Ottawa Citizen contain a section with photos and description of a large number of area veterans who served in both wars. Many readers, including this one, undoubtedly took the time to read over every single item and remember how much we "owe" - that is the least we can do as a sign of appreciation.

The Bad! Again, in this morning's Citizen, an article about our "about-to-become-an-ex" Prime Minister, Paul Martin's decision not to attend the Commonwealth Health of Government Conference being held in Malta. All Commonwealth heads of state including Britian's Tony Blair and Australia's John Howard will attend but our Prime Minister has plans to attend a local aboriginal meeting. No one is suggesting that meeting with aboriginal leaders is not important, we all know their lot in life is lacking and firm action is required - and soon, but the Commonwealth Conference is one Canada not only helped form, but has also attended continuously since 1971 for 34 years. Canada is sending a signal that it deems the Conference to have a somewhat useless or insignificant status. Not the best message at a time when the world is starting to look at Canada as less of a leader and more of a disorganized whiner! Smarten up Martin - the opposition parties have stated that they will not call an election before the holidays so relax and get back to work! Stop worrying about what misdeeds and cajoling are necessary to bolster your vote-getting possibilities! Do the job you and your cronies are well paid to do! The dynasty is over - I hope!

The Ugly! Once more, thanks to the Ottawa Citizen this morning, an article that should make every Canadian taxpayer turn red and every military veteran's stomach turn! It is well known that the Canadian Department of Veterans Affairs (DVA) is simply stupid, bordering on incompetent with a good measure of meanness and uncaring thrown in. We are all aware of the recent battle by a veteran who served and who was refused a military pension for 44 years due to DVA making a mistake and not accepting that they did just that! This gentlemen, this soldier is well into his later years and I am sure that over the last 44 he could have used the monies that were rightfully his. He will be receiving a retroactive settlement of over $900,000 - to bad he did not have more time to enjoy the fruits of his efforts! I digress... The issue I started out to mention is that under the stewardship (or lack of it) of Belinda Stronach, DVA released figures showing that over the last 2 years, the DVA "Caregiver Program" designed to enable family members to care for terminally ill veterans, had run up a total expenditure of almost 70 Million dollars being the "administration cost" of managing a program which reluctantly doled out only $11 million to caregivers in the same period! And it's going to get worse of course! Costs will certainly rise and we are losing veterans at a high rate so payouts will decrease! That's $70,000,000 dollars to manage payouts of just $11 million! To make matters more distasteful. the DVA is apparently taking a "tough approach" to any claims being made and the number of unwarranted refusals for whatever reason are high! This is a department intended to serve veterans and is not designed to be a "profit-center" where claim refusal fattens the bottom line! Stronach, you may be cute but unless you smarten up your mean and money-grabbing little bureaucrats, you will be telling the world that you too are becoming just another useless and uncaring minister! Or have you already reached that point!

OK, many readers have suggested that this writer tends to be a bit "anti-french'! Well.. just to clarify, No, I am not "anti French" persay, but experience has taught me two things about SOME Quebec francophones - one, francophone campers, generally, are loud, boisterous and rude and, two, Quebec politicians are (or are in the process of trying to be) unexcuseably corrupt!

The camping thing... I have addressed before and is based not only on personal experience and observation but also based on the opinion of "every single non-francophone camper I met over this past summer"! Now that's credibility unless mass hysteria has set in! On the Quebec politician and corruption suggestion? Hey! Ever heard of the Gomery Inquery? Jean Chretien was named as the responsible party, ten key Liberal party members were evicted from the Liberal party and the Quebec wing of the Liberal party had it's ability to independently raise funds taken away! Oh! Did I mention that all these people were Quebec politicians? This week there was also an interesting article in the Ottawa citizen, addressing the fact that Quebec, as a province (hopefully that may change soon...!) almost always disagreed with any major area of concern expressed by the rest of Canada. Let's go further... since so many Federal politicians and bureaucrats & their mandarins are francophone, they live in a state of fear (or at least extreme concern) that La Belle Province may separate. Accordingly, there is a tendency to cow-tow to Quebec wishes. The Citizen article gives some neat statistics - comparing English Canada's attitudes to Quebec's in areas of international economic dealings, military preparedness and international aid! In some instances, the disagreement gap in opinion polls was as high as 40%! Military-wise, it's the old situation... the majority of francophone Quebecers could care less about "overseas" concerns - it's a "Canada problem" - not theirs to worry about! International aid? With the exception of recent problems in Haiti, there is a huge gap in per-person average donations for the Tsunami relief and more recently, the Asian earthquake, between Francophone Queberers and the rest of Canada. Haiti was only well funded because of the large contingent of new Haitian french-speaking immigrants now residing in Montreal - over 300,000 now from what has been reported!

International trade? Quebeckers in general, and the separatist acedemic nut-bars in particular are still in "ostrich mode" with their heads sunk up to the neck in sand! The most recent "crusade of interest" is the possibility of a separate Quebec having it's own army! Now that's interesting.. a group of people who embrace pacificism and are renowned for their ability to turn tail and quickly run away from any aggression whatsoever are contemplating a military entity? WoW! Possibly they should forget this possibility and concentrate on something they would be very good at - may I suggest Olympic running? Their ability to 'run away fast' should make for many successes in this area!

This silly-but-dangerous group still thinks in terms of an independent Quebec using Canadian dollars as a currency, no repayment of any share of the National Debt (hey.. that's around $17,000 for every man, woman and child at this point), continuance of all economic relationships and dealings, and world acceptance of their silly lot! Now they would want Canada to "sell" them Quebec-based military institutions (or are they going to "take" them?? PLEASE do try that one!!) Nope! Ain't gonna happen! One day, Quebeckers in general are going to wake up to reality and it will become quite clear to them that their options are only three, namely (1) stop whining and saying "gimme gimme" all the time, and become a realistic working part of Canada, (2) try separating and have their standard of living drop so badly as to coin a new phrase "fourth-world country", or (3) end up being absorbed by the US where francophone culture will quickly disappear and they will lose their unilingual stop signs and have to put the dollar sign in front of currency on all signs and documents! (can you imagine what would happen if one small US state started demanding separate language, signeage and special considerations from Congress? It is to laugh!!

I like the idea of Quebec remaining in Canada provided the whining stop, we get a more representative federal government willing to address Canada's interests, not just Quebec's - and I can even put up with the bilingual Kelloggs Corn Flakes box. On the otherhand, if the whiners care to pull away (Hmmm.. possibly Greenland might want to take them - Whoops, Greenland is too smart for that) then I can live with reduced equalization payments, a higher Canadian dollar as a result, lower taxes from tremendous savings in the bureaucracy as a result of disbanding bilingualism and that most sacred of things - mental peace! I suspect that our newspapers might reduce in size without daily reportings on Quebec corruption and silliness (and of course whining) - great benefit for the tree-hugger set of course! Hey! Even without poutine, Canada will do well after a split! Being self-sufficient in gas and oil, we will even be able to sell to Quebec - at an increased price mind you! And please, no one bring up the James Bay hydro issue, Quebec's greatest natural hydro resource, or St Lawrence seaway control. Any separation of Quebec from Canada would also induce a similar succession of the Northern Cree nation from Quebec - (same game rules, world courts would allow the Cree same separation rights as allowed Quebec of course) and the Cree dislike Quebec with a vengence from all accounts! Their lands include the James Bay hydro projects. Quebec would lose it's hydro exporting revenues and have to purchase electricity from the Cree. Interesting, HuH? And if Quebec tried playing 'hard ball' or disrupting the St Lawrence seaway in any fashion, then we could sit back and watch the US crush Quebec, economically or physically!

OK - I'm getting tired from ranting... stay tuned... always more to come!

This crossed my desk today. I have seen it dozens of times but having just recently returned from a camping trip where we encountered some "new Canadians" displaying disgusting habits at our campground and claiming "this was their way as toilets were not readily available in their home country"! This writer almost "lost it" and luckily the offenders were booted out of the park - so when the article arrived - originally included in a major Toronto newspaper the e-mail claimed - I decided to "share" it with anyone who wished to read it! This is not a racist commentary, nor is it against other cultures or races - merely a cry for Canadians to hold on to their culture.

Will we still be the Country of choice and still be 'Canad' if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in Canada because it is the Country of Choice??????


Think about it!


All we have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS?

I celebrate Christmas but because it isn¹t celebrated by everyone we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season¹s Greetings.

It¹s not Christmas vacation, it¹s Winter Break. Isn¹t it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday?

We¹ve gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that we are now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that.

IMMIGRANTS, - NOT Canadians, SHOULD ADAPT.

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, We have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Canadians. However...... the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct! " crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.

I am not against immigration - let's face it, we need qualified immigrants to "grow" as the natural birth rate has become very low - nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Canada. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants.

However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of Canada being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Canadians we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This unique culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak mainly ENGLISH and to a smaller degree FRENCH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language.

So...., if you wish to become part of our society, please learn the language!

²We Stand On Guard For Thee²; is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan.. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women. based on Christian principles founded this nation..... and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home......... because God is part of our culture whether every citizen believes in him or not!

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don¹t care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle.

But once you are done complaining....... whining...... and griping....... about our flag....... our pledge...... our national motto........or our way of life....I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other Great Canadian Freedom.......


THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

The Gomery Inquiry is starting to reveal some not-so-surprising results! Public reaction to the sordid revelations ranges from the polite "WoW!" , the more common "Despicable" to the most common "Scum!". If what we have seen so far is any indication of what is to come, it appears we are headed to an early Federal election, the result being an overwhelming acceptance and support for the Progressive Conservatives who will form the next government. I suspect that the public is aghast at the obvious epidemic of graft and corruption that has eaten into the Liberal political ranks, almost entirely within the Quebec wing as facts are disclosing! This writer has made no secret that he is firmly convinced that graft, corruption and malfeasance is second nature to Quebec based politicians, regardless of whether they are Federal, Provincial or Municipal "servants" (and that word is a laugh - "servants"? To themselves of course!). It really does not give me pleasure to see my suspicions being confirmed!! It is time, for the sake of maintaining Canada's good name and it's citizen's good sense of right-and-wrong, that corruption is removed from the political scene!

Which brings up another point! I recently participated in a friendly debate with a friend over the possible outcome of the Inquiry results as it impacts Quebec residents. There is an almost certainty that the Separatist and Nationalist entities in that province will gain from the Gomery revelations. Quebeckers especially are dismayed, no... disgusted, with what they are learning. Of course they do not blame the Quebec scoundrels involved, but rather the Federal system - this is the "Quebec way"! They are partially correct! Up until now, the Federal "system" (and I use that word loosely...) has focused on having a disproportionate Quebec representation in the upper levels of the "government" (another word used loosely!). Quebec, home of the majority of Francophones, represents about 20% of the Canadian population but due to instilled fears of "separation" and the "need" for universal bilingualism", the "Quebec fact" is represented within government to the tune of 50-60%. WoW! 20% of the nation are dictating to 80% of the population! And that 20% tend to produce politicians who accept and participate in graft and corruption - beyond the normal political "porkbellying", more in line with acts of skullduggery and downright illegality!

So... as the debate continued.. is there a threat of increased "separation" pressure arising in Quebec? Yes, of course. Quebeckers love to whine it seems - and when a "cause celèbre" rises - off we go!!! What is becoming apparent however, is that the threat of "Quebec succeeding from Canada" is no longer the issue - the issue is becoming increased Anglo thinking of "Canada separating from Quebec"! If you remove the Quebec politicians from federal government levels, will the corruption reduce? This writer suggests "You Betcha"! Can Canada survive without Quebec? Again - "You Betcha"!

Quebeckers tend to ne naive about the impact of separation. They see an amicable parting, sharing of Canadian currency, no impact on the National Debt, removal of everything "Canada" from their "nation", separate representation on the world scene, no disruption of economic ties and alliances and removal of the English language from day-to-day activities. As I suggested - Naive! In reality, Quebec will suffer dramatically! They will be financially burdened with having to accept their portion of the National Debt (current debt estimated at $600 Billions - Quebec share @ 20% = $120,000,000,000 - that's 120 Billion or per person, assuming Quebec's 7.5 million population reduces to about 7 million with Anglophone exodus and some returning of ex-Quebec Francophones living elsewhere, about $17,143 for every man, woman and child. Quite the debt! Then of course, Quebec receives almost 5 Billion dollars annually as a result of equalization payments - that would stop immediately! Quebec would no longer receive subsidized gas and oil and since they really do not have any independent sources, Quebeckers would experience a massive increase in home heating, vehicle fuel and industrial costs as a result! Quebec Bond ratings would drop into the toilet immediately as lenders would certainly wait to see what would happen before allowing any adjustments. Payments on the Quebec and major Quebec corporation debts would skyrocket! many imports to Qyuebec, presently subsidized by Federal funds, would return to "natural" levels and become more expensive. A Quebec currency, fragile at first, would hold little value and as a result, everything apart from locally produced and supplied profucts would become very expensive. Look at what happened in Cuba - previously on a US dollar base, the Cuban Peso is virtually worthless outside the country. The Quebec standard of living would decrease quickly, thereby accelerating a tendancy to "leave" - which creates a "catch 22" senario. As people leave, the burden on the remaining increases so more will leave etc.. etc... Down the spiral goes! Then, if all that were not bad enough, the Aboriginal Cree Nation would certainly want to be part of Canada, not Quebec, and a case presented to the World Court would undoubtedly allow their wish to be granted. Quebec's physical territory would reduce and even worse, they would lose the Hudson Bay watershed and the Churchill Falls hydro complex - adding to their woes as there goes the bulk of their low-cost electricity, again negatively impacting industry. Not a nice scene - but this is reality! No, Canadians, this writer included, would certainly not accept and "amicable" separation formula that did not contain adjustments for all the points mentioned above! Once Quebeckers start to accept these realities then they will cease any more mention of the "S" word. Hopefully this will happen before the rest of Canada starts to think about kicking Quebec out of the fold - and thanks to the Gomery Inquiry, that could start to happen shortly! Stay tuned... news at 11, 12, 1 etc...

'Sponsorshipgate' - why am I NOT surprised.....?

The Gomery Inquiry - we have all seen the news items... Chretien's feeble attempts to shut it down and to have the Judge removed due to an alleged bias so any involvement in the debacle by himself will not be discovered, along with his attempts to demean the reputation of Judge Gomery through his golf-ball antics! The whole process is costing a lot of taxpayer dollars and it will take a lot more! The hue-and-cry is starting with many questioning if the whole process is worth the cost! That is what the negatively-involved parties want, people! The politicians, advertising executives, beaureaucrats and crown corporation types involved in this whole debacle would like the matter to disappear and public pressure over escalating costs could cause that to happen! THE ENQUIRY MUST GO ON! This continued fraud perpetrated on the Canadian public by Quebec based politicians simply has to stop! It's bad enough that many Quebecers have developed the tactic of whining and "gimme-gimme" to a fine art in persuading the uneasy Federal Government to cater to their whims - all in the fear of alienating the province - but to go that next step - illegally "screwing" Canadians out of their hard earned tax dollars by fraudulent scams and schemes is totally unacceptable!

The latest?? Jean Lafleur (a good anglo name, right?) - president of a Quebec based advertising company, while under investigation at the Gomery Inquery, has suffered an almost total loss of memory regarding anything that involves Federal funds being given to his company! This poor fellow - a high ranking executive who must have 'something on the ball' to attain such a position - appears to have developed an unfortunate lack of remembering! What a crock of Bovine Scat!! To make matters worse, apparently his office "encouraged" employees to make donations to the local Liberal Party MP - up to $1,000 each, and then reimbursed the employee for these "donations"! ("Encouraged" sounds like "... do you like working here..." to me!) This circumvents Federal donation policy as 'hidden' donations are illegal of course! Hmmm... could these "hidden" donations totalling $10,000 plus the $50,000 donated by Lafleur's and his own company, be some form of "payback" to the Liberals as a "thank you" for the lucrative ad contracts that came their way? Hopefully Judge Gomery will discover the truth! Mind you... no one will be surprised if these allegations are proven, will we? Unfortunately, it is just another nail in the renown 'Quebec prophensity for fraud and corruption' coffin - or as most non-francophones like to say "it's the Quebec way"! When will all this stop - Argggggg......!!! All of this makes the concept of "Quebec Separation" quite appealing to many anglo Canadians, this writer included!

In Britian, authorities have discovered a novel way of countering cocaine use in public toilets. Coke users have been using toilet seats to make 'lines' of cocaine - the flat smooth surface has been ideal for their needs. The police stumbled upon the fact that the good old 'fixer of everything'- WD-40 oil, when sprayed over the toilet seats in advance, turns cocaine into a gooey mess, and totally unuseable. Good for cocaine dealers... bad for coke-heads.

The good old conservative extremists in the southern USA have taken up a new cause - Sponge Bob Square Pants. For those of you who are in the dark as to who 'Bob' is... he is a friendly children's cartoon character who lives at the bottom of the ocean with friends. It is the friends that are concerning the religious zealots. Apparently, Sponge Bob Square Pants has a friend, a pet snail named Gary and (aw my god...) have been seen holding hands. To make matters worse, 'Bob' and 'Gary' like to sit down together and watch television, their favourite program being "The adventures of mermaid man and barnicle boy'! And as a further indication that these are all gay traits, Sponge Bob Square Pants has been seen in the company of that purple icon 'Barney' and 'Jimmy Neutron' two other children's cartoon characters! I guess groups like 'The American Family Association" and "Focus on the Family", both 'Dubya' Bush-loving Republican extremists are going to have a cardiac attack when they discover that ordinary guys like frequenting bars on a saturday night to watch hockey or football - now what can be more 'gay' than that?? Thank God those idiots are way down south in the southern US - hope they stay there!!

In Australia, the government is a little embarrassed over an incident where they sent a scolarship cheque to a boy's mother addressed to "Mrs. Passed Away" - 15 months after her husband died. Needless to say she was not pleased.

A Toronto Doctor is in deep Kaka-poo after he placed a photo of himself and a young prostitute engaging in oral sex, on the web. He found it hard to understand why the medical association decided to lift his license and why the young lady, whom he had hired as a medical assistant at the local hospital, was let go!

Sometimes newspapers are worth reading......

The newest card addition #56

What a Lousy Government Canada has! WoW! The W.H.O. (World Health Organization) has published a "Travel Advisory" concerning travel to Toronto due to their perception that the S.A.R.S. (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) situation there may be dangerous to visitors. This appears to be a result of incorrect information or overzealousness on the part of WHO underlings who have misread the situation, or, as suggested by some, a political move to offset the Chinese situation - an appeasement to divert some attention away from the plight of Hong Kong and the mainland. Toronto, actually Canada as a whole, is somewhat upset about this advisory as it will indeed be the "kiss of death" to Toronto's tourism industry for some months, and even if the advisory is lifted shortly, the damage is done - travel plans for many will have been made and reservations elsewhere confirmed! This is serious stuff as the Canadian economy will suffer in the short term - there have been suggestions that the GNP index may fall from an anticipated 2.5% to as low as 1% - that's a big drop and involves big dollars. So what has our federal government done about it? Not surprisingly, nothing! Our illustrious Leader Jean Chrétien has been busy out of the country - faking a "business trip" to the Dominican Republic which, in reality was a chance to play more golf! (Baaaad timing!) He will deny this, of course, but how else do you explain the rumour concerning an underling's comments that his planned golf game with Bill Clinton had been arranged well before the trip? No, once again, the "slowly departing" unimaginative and self-centered prime minister has put his worldly pleasures before the concerns of the country! (what's with this golf "thing" anyway? First "Shawinigate".. now this??). Chrétien and crew have exhibited absolutely no leadership in the SARS crisis - and it is a crisis, not because of the actual outbreak, that will soon subside, but because of the ramifications of international perception. Whoops... sorry! I forgot... Chrétien has decided to wrap up all his cabinet ministers and ship them down to Toronto where the next Cabinet meeting will be held - to show the world that there is no danger in visiting Toronto. What a dullard!! Possibly more (and earlier) support for the hard-pressed medical community might have been a better move? Possibly more ministerial concern being provided at the onset of the outbreak may have helped? There are no money concerns... the Feds have over seven hundred millions of dollars earmarked for a new "bilingualism program" (possibly I am "off base" here but would not that money be better spent on bolstering our medical system rather than teaching an inuit child somewhere in the far north to speak "freedom" {whoops.. sorry.. I mean "french"} or a federal official to learn french when his position has no need for the language or involvement with the public?). Possibly Federal insistance, along with provincial and municipal pressure, on quarantine enforcement might have helped - it SHOULD be a criminal offense to ignore quarantine orders in crisis situations - an offense backed up by incarceration - that might make offenders think twice about continuing on with normal activities and spreading the problem! SARS is a "present" problem, and may occur again, but you can bet on the fact that other similar infections are lurking around the corner, ready to "pounce" someday. We should be ready for them! We should consider the SARS outbreak as a "warning bell" and take steps to ensure that real controls and procedures are in place. Now... as far as Chrétien-et-al having their Cabinet meeting in Toronto... may I suggest that it be held in the most infectious hospital?? Nothing personal folks, just that there has to be some way of removing the corrupt scourge that has this country in a stranglehold - and until the "chief Dino" finally steps aside next year, Canada will continue to regress in the world's eyes! (Hey! if things improve, Canada may well be raised to the status of a third-world nation in the eyes of many!) Possibly the whole cabinet in quarantine would allow someone else to take over the reins and really do what Roi Jean and company have long forgotten to do - properly run our country!! Ahh... dreams!

Oh Oh! I said it would happen.. Saturday April 12 2003 - It did not take a genius to forsee that George 'Dubya' Bush would cancel his intended May visit to Ottawa. What caught most people by surprise is the excuse given! Most felt he would be "diplomatic" about cancelling the trip, citing war related activities as the excuse (although most Canadians would realize that his being 'ticked off' at Canada's non-support for the Iraq conflict was the true reason). What Bush did state, quite blatently, was that Canada's non-support position was the reason, and his personal dislike for Jean Chrétien merely confirmed his decision to not visit! Possibly Bush was also influenced by Chrétien's recent "offer" to send a couple of RCMP officers to Iraq to help out with the "policing" of that nation following the conflict? Possibly Bush saw Chrétien's offer of two troopers, three horses, two musical ride spears, six bales of hay for the horses and a five day supply of McDonald gift certificates for the troopers, as being somewhat inadequate, especially as the US would be asked to transport them over and back! Ah, Mr Chrétien, in my view you are a bumbling fool with no sense of diplomacy and tact! It was a sad day in Canada when you were the voter's choice - even sadder to realize that that there was no viable opposition to prevent your "taking over' the throne! Please do not make any more attempts to rectify the situation with the US and their (not ours, unfortunately) allies - you will only make matters worse. Just wait until you leave next year - that alone will smooth over matters with our next-door neighbours, presuming we are all still here of course. I suspect that Canada is becoming more of an irritant to the US than Iraq was - and we all know where that ended up! Heads up Canada, "Incoming"!!

Proposed Time Magazine Releases.. April 21 2003 Time Canada edition              February 2004 Time Canada edition March 2004 Time Canada edition April 2004 Time Canada edition May 2004 Time Canada edition

David Letterman's Top Ten reasons why Canada will not fight in Iraq! 10. Both of Canada's soldiers have no way of getting there.   9. Canadians are too busy at home with the Maple Syrup Season.   8. After 136 Years, Canada is still copying the cowardly French.   7. Saddam's name pronounced backwards is "MADD ASs". They'll stay away from him THANK YOU.   6. There is only limited potential for sales of Canadian Bacon in Iraq after the war.   5. Canada's Sea King Helicopter was damaged and needs more repairs.   4. Celine Dion can't sing to the troops because she has a contract in Las Vegas   3. The Rivers in Iraq are too shallow for Canadian War Canoes.   2. CNN doesn't broadcast NHL playoff games and Canadian TV's won't work in Iraq   1. One of Canada's two soldiers is needed to protect the Prime Minister on the Caribbean golf links

Open letter to Jean Chrétien - Prime Minister submitted to the Ottawa Citizen April 11 2003 Congratulations Mr. Prime Minister, you have finally succeeded! Your long-sought-after "Legacy" is now etched in stone! Pierre Elliot Trudeau is remembered for repatriating the Constitution! John Diefenbaker is known for single-handedly dismembering the Canadian Aerospace industry! Lester B. Pearson is known for his diplomatic efforts and Nobel Prize! You, sir, will be long remembered for your efforts in dividing Canada and alienating our greatest ally and trading partner, the United States, by not supporting those nations whose goal was to rid this world of a scourge that compares to the likes of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin! You will be known as the prime minister who ended Canada's long and proud tradition of supporting "right" and opposing "evil" by stalling then refusing to support what a majority of Canadians (58% of English Canadians according to Ipsos-Reid) consider to be a "just cause" in eliminating the Iraqi threat and fighting terrorism. In not supporting elimination of the Iraqi threat you have sent a message to the world that Canada possibly condones the Iraqi regime - because when considering terrorism, there is no middle ground - you either support or oppose! Your latest move, announcing that the Canadian Navy, involved in anti-terrorist support work in the middle east, must not hand over any captured Iraqis to U.S forces, is an example of illogical and irresponsible thinking! How far will you go in your efforts to embarrass Canadians and alienate our allies? Shame on you Mr. Prime Minister! And shame on those Liberal party members who did not have the courage to tell you that you were wrong! Yes, you finally have your "Legacy" but one that I personally would not be too proud to tell anyone about!

PLEASE FILL UP MY CAR!! A plea to US gas stations.. Ok folks, enough is enough! Apparently some Canadian travellers in the US are encountering situations where US gas station attendants are refusing to provide service because the customer is Canadian - they are PO'd at Canada's anti-war, anti-USA stance. Please do not hold all Canadians responsible for the attitude of our mis-directed politicians and a few pacifist-minded individuals. Our present government is one that we are really "stuck" with! As opposed to the US two-party political system, we have a multi-party system which at times, unfortunately, can lead to one party gaining a majority in our parliament. If the "other" parties have weak leadership or platforms that do not appeal to the population, then it becomes very difficult to "oust" the party in power. If the "ruling party", presently the "Liberal" party under their leader Jean Chrétien, has an overpowering and self-serving attitude, then they can pretty well "do what they want" and the "voters be damned"! To further compound our woes, the prime minister Jean Chrétien has decided to retire but is postponing such a move until early 2004 - and the government does not have to call an election for some time! Canada does not have "empeachment" options like the US - too bad actually! We are stuck with the present government until a credible opposition party with a credible leader comes into view! Not only do Canadians need you to gas up their cars when requested, they also need your sympathy for the governmental plight they find themselves in! It can be claimed that Canadians voted for this pacifist quebec cow-tow'ing government therefore they are responsible and must face the consequences of their action! The answer is both "yes" and "no"! We voted in this government, or more properly stated, we did not vote OUT the government - mainly due to the fact that there was no alternative! (how does the old saying go .. "the devil you know is better than the devil you do not know"! You see, Canada is different from the US in a numnber of areas, one being that we treated our history different - well, at least we let it happen differently! When the US took on Britain during the revolution, you won therefore you told the British where to go and got on with business! When Canada, under the-then rule of Britain, beat the French on the Plains of Abraham in Quebec City, we made the foolish mistake of letting the vanquished (French) start to dictate matters to the victors (British)! It has been that way ever since! The French language province of Quebec has become a master at the art of whining and using the phrase "gimme..gimme", and our federal politicians have yet to catch on to the fact that all the "threats" of separation emanating from that francophone province are overstated and that they should finally be "put in their place"! Whoops - sorry about that - I forgot, a disproportionate number of federal representatives either come from that province or are sympathetic to it! Through political blunders in the past, Quebec, with a francophone population of just over six millions, has been allowed a disproportionate representation in government circles, in a country of almost thirty two millions. Francophone Quebeckers represent just over 18% of Canada's population but through bilingualism legislation, have gained disproportionate representation exceeding 50%. Living on a continent of over 330 million english speaking inhabitants, the average Quebecker appreciates the need to speak english so most quebeckers are bilingual. The majority of non-Quebec Canadians have no need nor inclination to speak French - but nevertheless, our francophone-loving federal government has total Canadian bilingualism as a goal and is doing everything in their power to achieve this goal whether the "rest of us" like it or not! So.. a "french" thinking attitude exists in our upper government circles! Such an attitude encompasses a pacifist (some say cowardly) attitude which has led to the decimation of our once-proud military and has created an image in the political minds that the world revolves around Ottawa! France's attitude says it all - better to run and hide than stand up for good against evil - or stand up for anything for that matter! Quebeckers are decendants of the French gene pool and that says it all, right? Personalities are personalities and let's face it, our bumbling prime minister has gone out of his way to alienate George W Bush - in fact it is no secret that they hate each other! They rarily speak, Chrétien is the only western leader not to have been invited to Bush's ranch and Bush has never visited Ottawa - in fact a planned visit this coming May will be cancelled - the "war" being the excuse! Not so - Bush is so ticked off at Chrétien's non-support that he has virtually "written him off"! The Washington attitude right now is to forget Canada until such time as our ineffective leader finally leaves - good riddance! So as I said above, please have empathy with the average Canadian's plight! We love visiting the US - we like the people and can escape our wintery weather, the francophone curse and our sometimes-corrupt politicians! Most Canadians, although they do not state it enough, appreciate the US and would really like to support the effort in Iraq and the anti-terrorist campaign. So when you see a nervous Canadian rolling up to your pumps, please offer a smile of sympathy and a kind word or two along with the fillup - a gentle "we understand... we really understand" will do nicely thank you.

CHRÉTIEN CHANGES MIND!! Canadian Parliament decides to back US/UK stand on Iraq!! (April 1 2003) FINALLY... Jean Chrétien has decided to admit his error in not offering moral support for the US action to oust Sadaam Hussein and his murderous regime! In a late night sitting of the House of Commons yesterday (March 31 2003) he announced that the US Ambassador had been informed of Canada's change in attitude. Chrétien stated that "we were being put in a position where our opposition to the US position was being seen as support for the Iraqi regime and that certainly is not the case". He went on.. "The United States recognizes that Canada has very little to offer in the way of military assistance and in any event did not want our physical assistance apart from Canadian service people already working with them through the military exchange program under the NORAD and NATO agreements". Chrétien offered an apology to all Americans who felt Canada had deserted them in their "hour of need" and suggested that all Canadians, including citizens of Quebec who had, through a misunderstanding, booed the American Anthem at a sporting event, fully supported the aims of the Iraqi encounter as they had also done in Korea and Vietnam. He again apologized for his not being clearer in his support for Americans during the events of September 11, when the World Trade terrorist attack occurred. (It is widly accepted that his view on 9/11 was that it was "just an attack" and that he did not comprehend the fact that to most Americans, it was more than a simple attack - "it was a grave moral issue"!) And as a final surprise to most observers, Chrétien also took the opportunity to send a stern message to his caucus - and all members of the House and Senate - that regardless of their personal views on the Iraqi situation, members must keep their opinions to themselves and not openly criticize the US or it's allies over their mid-east position. Following his remarks, the House gave the Prime Minister a standing ovation! April Fool!! There is absolutely no way that our ineffective Prime Minister would ever admit he was wrong no matter what the circumstance! He would never apologize for anything - throughout his forty year membership in government circles, he has never apologized to anyone about any of the misdeeds or errors of judgement he is quite famous (infamous?) for! His now-apparent "Legacy" of mis-management, corruption and ongoing government waste has earned him a place among the list of the most notorious and tactless national leaders anywhere. **( As further confirmation of this fact, yesterday, March 31st 2003, the Canadian Taxpayers Federation announced the Prime Minister was a recipient of a "lifetime achievement "Teddy Award" for government waste. To mark the anniversary next week of Mr. Chrétien's first election to the Commons, at it's fifth annual awards ceremony on Parliament Hill, the conservative lobby group gave him a gold painted figurine of a sow. Federation president Walter Robinson noted that federal spending totalled $8.3 billions when Mr. Chrétien was first elected April 8, 1963 and has steadily grown to over $180 billions under a succession of primarily Liberal governments. Mr. Robinson said Mr. Chrétien, as prime minister, had risked military lives by cancelling a new helicopter purchase in 1963, balancing the federal books with nearly a decade of tax increases, and presided over a nearly ten percent decline in the value of the Canadian dollar relative to the US dollar. The Federation's "Teddy Awards" are named in honour of Ted Weatherill, a senior federal public servant fired in 1998 following a series of newspaper stories about his lavish spending habits.) * Ed note: content of awards portion of article taken from Tim Naumetz's {Can West News Service} article appearing in the April 1 2003 Ottawa Citizen

WARNING!! Anglophone survival at risk!! This morning's Ottawa Citizen carried the story... Our "Language czar" Dyane Adam has "decreed" that the federal public service hiring policy will no longer accept unilingual anglophone hiring for "bilingual" Public Service positions. The old policy was to allow unilingual hiring with a two year window to allow learning the other language! Effectively, since North America contains about 330,000,000 english language inhabitants and about 6,000,000 French speaking inhabitants, primarily located in Quebec, most Quebeckers speak english and most english inhabitants do not speak french - in fact in the North American arena, Spanish is by far the second language! What this means, for Canada, is that more and more civil service positions will be filled by francophones! In today's global economy, the whole issue of "bilingualism" in Canada is antiquated, driven only by the political butt-bussing attitudes of the francophone crowd running the show in Ottawa. We can thank Pierre Elliot Trudeau for starting all this! In his attempts to appease the whiners in Quebec, he created the "Official Languages Act" making french the second official language of Canada. (*Trudeau's Official Bilingualism Act remains the biggest sore spot with the non-Quebec provinces. Because Canada now has two official languages, everything in Canada must now appear in both French and English. And I mean everything. Just about every product you can buy in Canada, from cornflakes to a DVD player will come in a box where every single bit of text is reproduced in French below the English. This makes our boxes very crowded with words, and until recently, Canadian cereal boxes never had those cool games on the back, because the French translation of everything used up too much room.*) This march towards total bilingualism is an attempt to spread the francophone language and culture and is a major appeasement to the whiners in Quebec who constantly moan about their potential to lose culture. To them I say "Tough"! This is now a global economy and I would suggest that learning Spanish or Chinese would be more beneficial to the upcoming generations of Canadians! But this would be a practical step and we all know that the lunkheads running this country know nothing of practicality! But it gets worse... Not only is there a major government thrust towards making every man, woman, child, dog, cat and pet goldfish in Canada fully capable of speaking french, there are actually steps in the works to eradicate the english language in Canada! Yes, alas, it is true! You see, anglophones object to seeing french on their cornflake boxes and similarily the francophones object to seeing english - both "sides" preferring to see neat games and contest stuff instead! And since the francophones are taking control... well you see what is happening!! I have suspected this for some time but another article in this morning's Ottawa Citizen confirmed the trend. The article related to the fact that since harvesting of seal pups off Newfoundland had been prohibited, the population was increasing out-of-hand and so a program of sterilization is in the works. Yes, in an effort to stop the spread of these creatures, they will be systematically sterilized until the population becomes "manageable". This procedure's potential has apparently not been lost on those advocating total francophone rule in Canada. I fear that there will be an attempt to slowly eradicate anglophones - down to a "manageable population", say 2-400 where the gene pool will become so concentrated as to produce morons which will further justify total elimination of the species as being useless! (In fact, rumour has it that this scenario is being examined by a noted Kebec movie-maker as a possible movie script, financed by a consortium made up of the federal government. Quebec government and the cowardly French.) Yes, sad but true, if left to their own devices, the federal government will continue to keep on filling their own ranks from the corrupt and self-serving Kebec political pool, keep on staffing the public service with francophones and eventually, embark upon a devious plot to eliminate the argumentative anglophones who do not seem to appreciate that french is, by far, superior to english in all aspects! Hmmm.. wonder where this DeGaull/Chirac'ish attitude came from?? Let's guess... the cowardly French motherland? Possibly... possibly! (* courtesy of "J.J.'s Complete Guide to Canada")

Boycott France campaign takes off.. NewsMax.com is leading the Boycott France campaign because American lives and security is at stake. France has every right to disagree with America. But France has moved from simple dissent to active hostility toward America. French President Chirac warned East European nations that if they side with America, France will oppose their membership in the European Union. This week, William Safire reported in the New York Times that France has been secretly helping to arm Iraq -- and has been helping Iraq build long range missiles. These same missiles may soon be used against American soldiers. Just as France is exercising its right to disagree, Americans and Canadians can exercise their right to boycott - and avoid helping companies and countries that oppose America. French Products and Companies to Boycott * Air France. Air Liquide. Airbus. Alcatel. Allegra (allergy medication). Aqualung (including: Spirotechnique, Technisub, US Divers, and SeaQuest). AXA Advisors * Bank of the West (owned by BNP Paribas). Beneteau (boats). BF Goodrich (owned by Michelin). BIC (razors, pens and lighters). Biotherm (cosmetics). Black Bush. Bollinger (champagne). * Car & Driver Magazine. Cartier. Chanel. Chivas Regal (scotch). Christian Dior. Club Med (vacations). Culligan (owned by Vivendi). * Dannon (yogurt and dairy foods). DKNY. Dom Perignon. Durand Crystal * Elle Magazine. Essilor Optical Products. Evian. * Fina gas stations and Fina Oil (billions invested in Iraqi oil fields). First Hawaiian Bank. * George Magazine. Givenchy. Glenlivet (scotch). * Hennessy. Houghton Mifflin (books). * Jacobs Creek (owned by Pernod Ricard since 1989). Jameson (whiskey). Jerry Springer (talk show) * Krups (coffee and cappuccino makers). * Lancome. Le Creuset (cookware). L'Oreal (health and beauty products). Louis Vuitton. * Marie Claire. Martel Cognac. Maybelline. Méphisto (shoes and clothes). Michelin (tires and auto parts). Mikasa (crystal and glass). Moet (champagne). Motel 6. Motown Records. MP3.com. Mumms (champagne). * Nissan (cars; majority owned by Renault). Nivea. Normany Butter. * Parents Magazine. Peugeot (automobiles). Pierre Cardin. Playstation Magazine. ProScan (owned by Thomson Electronics, France). Publicis Group (including Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising). * RCA (televisions and electronics; owned by Thomson Electronics). Red Magazine. Red Roof Inns (owned by Accor group in France). Renault (automobiles). Road & Track Magazine. Roquefort cheese (all Roquefort cheese is made in France). Rowenta (toasters, irons, coffee makers, etc.). * Salomon (skis). Sierra Software and Computer Games. Smart & Final. Sofitel (hotels, owned by Accor). Sparkletts (water, owned by Danone). Spencer Gifts. Sundance Channel. * Taylor Made (golf). Technicolor. T-Fal (kitchenware). Total gas stations. * UbiSoft (computer games). Uniroyal. Universal Studios (music, movies and amusement parks; owned by Vivendi-Universal). USFilter. * Veritas Group. Veuve Clicquot Champagne. Vittel. Vivendi. * Wild Turkey (bourbon). Woman's Day Magazine. * Yoplait (The French company Sodiaal owns a 50 percent stake). Yves Saint Laurent. * Zodiac Inflatable Boats. EVERYONE can do their "bit" to send a message - we do not support cowardism!

Canada's Prime Ministers 1867 - Many of my American friends read the articles on our Government and (in my opinion) somewhat useless Kebec-loving Prime Minister Jean Chrétien and as a result, often query about our government style and history. Regarding the history issue, for the edification of Americans and history buffs, here is a listing of Canada's Prime Ministers from "day one"! ("L" = Liberal, "C" = Conservative. "A" = Arrogant) #1- Sir John A. MacDonald, C. (1867 - 1873, 1878 - 1891), #2- Alexander Mackenzie, L. (1873 - 1878), #3- John Abbott, #4- John Thompson, #5- Mackenzie Bowell, #6- Charles Tupper, (all C.) (1891 - 1896), #7- Sir Wilfred Laurier, L. (1896 - 1911) #8- Sir Robert Borden, C. (1911 - 1920), #9- Arthur Meighen, C. (1920 - 1921, 1926), #10- William Lyon Mackenzie King, L. (1921 - 1926, 1926 - 1930, 1935 - 1948), #11- R.B. Bennett, C. (1930 - 1935), #12- Louis St. Laurent, L. (1948 - 1957), #13- John Diefenbaker, C. (1957 - 1963) , #14- Lester Pearson, L. (1963 - 1968), #15- Pierre Elliot Trudeau, L. (1968 - 1979, 1980 - 1984), #16- Joe Clark, C. (1979 - 1980), #17- John Turner, L. (1984), #18- Brian Mulroney, C. (1984 - 1993), #19- Kim Campbell, C. (1993), #20- Jean Chretien, A. (1993 - 2004, hopefully sooner!) (photos & dates courtesy of "J.J.'s Complete Guide to Canada")

letter to the Editor - Ottawa Citizen March 20,2003 (with apologies to "The Wiz") Tinman Cowardly Lion Chrétien Scarecrow Ok, now I am getting mad! Canada has been embarrassed again thanks to our "leader"?? Jean Chrétien and his "yes men"! First there was the series of ongoing faux-pa's, "goofs" and attempts at obliteration of our once-proud armed forces. Then the issues of corruption and mis-management (Shawinigate, Gagliano affair, HRDC Boondoggle, Gun Registry mess...) came to light. Now, after months of indecisiveness and "flip-flopping", our not-so-illustrious prime minister has decided, on behalf of all Canadians, to not support our allies - up to 40 countries in the "coalition of the willing" at the time of writing - in their attempts to remove the Iraqi cancer called Sadaam Hussein. The USA, Britain, Australia, Spain, New Zealand and others are supplying physical or moral support - but not Canada and it's wishy-washy Liberal government! Britain's government acted in a similar manner prior to the second world war, not wanting to act in a decisive manner in stopping the Nazi scourge - and look at the results. Sadly the Chrétien government has not learned from that lesson. Possibly the government is embarrassed at the decrepit status of the military, that they have created, and "opting out" saves further embarrassment? Or is is that Jean Chrétien really doesn't care what the world community thinks of Canada and Canadians? I am sorry, Mr. Prime Minister, I care and am not proud to wave a Canadian flag right now. The world accepts France as a nation which often acts in a cowardly manner - it's almost expected - but for Canada to also act in a cowardly fashion, well... that is something new and a surprise to almost everyone. Shame, Mr. Prime Minister, Shame that you do not feel it necessary to support our neighbours in a just cause! If the role was reversed, they would not hesitate - but you do! It's embarrassing and cowardly! You have finally created your long sought-after "Legacy" - and WE have to live with it! (Ed note: the number of supporters of the cause has increased from 40 to 52 as of Saturday March 22 2003)

So how do the world's nations "stack up" over Iraq? USA, UK, Spain - let's go and kick Sadaam's butt! Keyword: courageous France - we don't want war 'cause we are a nation of cowards and we are afraid of everything, even our shadows! Keyword: gutless yellow-bellies Germany - unless it means a fourth reich and world domination for us, we want no part of your war! Keyword: arrogantly stupid Russia - since we sold Iraq all their outdated weapons, it appears a conflict of interest for us to participate! Keyword: self-servicing Canada - according to their useless Prime Minister, "we choose/do not choose to not participate/participate in any'ting/nothing dat hanyone/no-one wishes/does not wish to do or not to do, h'as long as de Hewnited Nations supports dat move or non-move, 'dat's for sure! 'an don' forget that I 'ave French ancestory and I scare easily, mon dieu!" Keyword: totally useless Israel - Oi-ve! Maybe, at last, possibly, hopefully - a mushroom cloud over Baghdad! Keyword: revenge Mexico - Carrruuummmbaaaaa........ Olé - pass the tequila senorita! Keyword: adios China - Ha so! - we need a billion troops to kick North Korea's butt when the time comes so we have none to spare so we will have to sit this one out folks, but thanks for asking! Keyword: remember Tianamin Square Japan - no sushi bars? count us out!! Keyword: Sony

La Guerre!!      which in English means: "Iraq - your butt is ours!" And in "true" French means: "Run away - Run away!"

Rules of Etiquette for Dealing with Peace Activists ( Thanks to a US friend for this one) With all of this talk of impending war, many of us will encounter so-called "Peace Activists" who will try to convince us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11th, 2001 and from causing any harm to foreign governments that possess weapons of mass destruction/terror that may be used against us in the future. These activists may be alone or in a gathering and most of us don't/won't know how to react to them. The following rules of etiquette are to be applied when/if you come upon one of these people, or one of their rallies. We do not promote undue violence so the following exercise should be considered as an guideline for the education of naive and uninformed protesters to the "realities" of today's modern world: 01. Listen politely while this person explains their view(s). Strike up a conversation if necessary and feign interest in their idea(s). They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people/governments that threaten us, we will only bring more violence against us. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian. 02. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE! 03. When the person gets up off the ground (always punch them sufficiently enough to knock them to the ground), they will be very angry and may even try to hit you, so be careful. 04. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only begets more violence, and remind them of their own stand on this matter. Tell them that if they are really committed to a nonviolent approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they really believe in what they are saying. 05. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are correct. 06. As soon as they do this, HIT THEM AGAIN! Only this time, hit them harder and faster than before. Square in the face. 07. Repeat steps 4 thru 6 until the desired results are obtained (the idiot realizes the folly of his/her argument or he is pummelled into a state of unconsciousness). There really is no difference in an individual attacking an unsuspecting person or a group of terrorists attacking an unsuspecting nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with, perhaps at a high cost. We owe our military a huge debt of gratitude for what they are about to do for us and our children. We must support them and our leaders during times like these. We have no choice. We either strike back, very hard, or WE will keep getting punched in the face...

A different kind of French kiss - Dave Barry ( Dave Barry is a humour columnist for the Miami Herald) OK, if nobody else will do it, I'm going to patch up this spat between the United States and France. As you know these two nations are not getting along, as evidenced by the high-level meeting in Paris last week during which French President Jacques Chirac and U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, in what aides described as a frank exchange of views, bit each other. Yes, relations are at an all all-time low. The French view us as a bunch of fat, simplistic, SUV-driving, gum-chewing, gun shooting, mall dwelling John Wayne cowboys who put ketchup on everything we eat, including breath mints. Whereas we view the French as a bunch of snotty, hygiene-impaired, pseudo-intellectual, snail-slurping weenies whose sole military accomplishment in the past 100 years was inventing the tasselled combat boot. Sadly - as is so often the case when people resort to vicious stereotypes - both sides in this dispute are 100 percent correct. But the fact that we hate each other, with good reason, does NOT mean we can't be friends! After all, The United States and France have a close relationship that dates back to the Revolutionary War, when we were helped in our struggle for independence by a French person whose name we will never, ever forget, as long as we have Internet access to the Encyclopedia Britannica. Let's see ... Ladybird, Ladybug, Ladyfinger ... OK, here it is, Lafayette. Actually, according to the Encyclopedia Britannica, his full name was - I am not making this up - Marie Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert Metier, Marquis de Lafayette. As a result, he had a hellish childhood. His mother would lean out the kitchen window and shout: "Marie Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert Metier, Marquis de Lafayette! You get back in here and finish your snails THIS INSTANT!" Hearing this, the other French children would tease Lafayette, calling him "Marie" and threatening to brush his teeth. So as soon as he could, he left France and came to America, I am calling upon you, my fellow Americans, to "extend the olive jar" to our French brothers and sisters and yappy little dogs. where he joined the army and told everybody his name was Mark. From that moment on, France and America were close allies. In 1886, as a gift symbolizing more than a century of friendship, France gave us the Statue of Liberty, in return, we sent the French 18 tons of jerky, which they claimed was lost in shipping. And the relationship continues to this very day, when many of the words that we use all the time, such as "French fries," "French toast," "French kiss," "French poodle" and "Chef Boy-Ar-Dee", are, believe it or not, actually of French origin. We simply cannot allow a close relationship like this to be destroyed because of some silly little dispute over who gets to run the world. That is why today I am calling upon you, my fellow Americans, to "extend the olive jar" to our French brothers and sisters and yappy little dogs. I want you to deliberately approach French people wherever you can find them - on the street, on the Internet, in the "Small World" ride at Disney World, in public restrooms - and make friendly overtures to them in their own language (French). To help you do this, here is a list of friendly French phrases: "Bonjour, personne française!" ("Hello, French person!") "Je suis un Americain, et, dangue il, je vais vous donner une grande vieille étreinte!" (I am an American and, dang it, I am going to give you a big old hug!") "Parole! Vous ne sentez pas demi aussi de mauvais que j'ai prévu!" ("Say! You do not smell half as bad as I expected!") Qui s'inquiete qui court darned le monde?" ("Who cares who runs the darned world?") "Voulez-vous la gomme? Elle ketchup-est assaisonnée!" ("Do you want gum? It's ketchup-flavoured!") "Voulez que je vous porte au mail dans mon SUV?" ("Want me to take you to the mall in my SUV?") "Vous pouvez vous rendre au garde de sécurité" ("You can surrender to the security guard!") "Ha ha, je suis badiner juste autour hors de l"amitié! " ("Ha ha, I am just kidding around out of friendship!) "Hé, revenez ici!" ("Hey, come back here!") "I1 n'y a aucune cause pour l'alarme! Mon pistolet a une sûreté!" ("There is no cause for alarm! My gun has a safety!") Yes, fellow Americans, with a little effort, we can heal this rift between us and our old friends. Because, in, the end, we have a lot more in common than we do separating us! Or, as the French would say, "Je suis un grand gros menteur" ("I am a big fat liar").

DILEMMA AT UNITED NATIONS SOLVED... cartoon courtesy Ottawa Citizen & syndicam.com I have finally figured a way out of the UN debacle regarding Iraq. I am surprised no one else had figured this out before. It is very simple and can be wrapped up in very short order, a couple of months should do it! Here is how it would work: The US temporarily forgets about invading Iraq and instead, teams up with Iraq and Britain and invades France. Since the French normally capitulate without a fight, the whole invasion will be over within an hour of the French daily newspapers hitting the street or "rue"! Now, the next step will be to gather up all the Palestinians from the middle east and transport them to France, in effect "give" them the newly captured territory (previously known as France). The only difficulty I forsee here is potential conflict between many Palestinian Imam's who will all want to use the Eiffel Tower to announce prayer times - as the landmark Tower will surely be converted into a mosque. In any event, now that the Palestinians finally have their new "home" and own nation, the Arab/Israeli conflict should disappear almost overnight! Next, the new "coalition of the willing, able and past-evil" will set their sights on North Korea, and with China's help, quickly defeat North Korea and unify both the north and south. This will eliminate the need for a continued US presence in Korea, allowing over 50,000 soldiers to return home. The final step in this program will be for the US and Britain to "turn" on their partner Iraq, and remove the Hussein regime and "terminate" Hussein and his cronies and possibly, at the same time, continue on and wipe out Iran as well! (Hey, this could be easily explained as a simple error, in that the names are similar, the only difference being the last letters in the names, an "n" and a "q"). The somewhat useless United Nations could be called upon to take over the reconstruction of Iraq and Iran - giving the UN something positive to do for once! So, to recap, Tony Blair's political problem is resolved as is the George Dubya Bush's! France no longer exists (thanks for that - just that we will now have to teach the Palestinians how to make beaujolais!), The Korean threat will have disappeared and the Koreas are once again unified! The Palestinian/Israeli conflict is passée, Iraq has been disarmed with the UN now handling the democraticization of the country, and Iran no longer remains a credible nuclear threat having been conquered! With the loss of North Korea, Iraq, Iran and the Palestinians as harbourers of terrorism, the terrorist threat should subside or die. The Germans, having seen all this action, will quickly discard any thoughts of a fourth, fifth or sixth Reich, in effect invading anyone, and the world will finally be at peace! Now, if only there was a way of convincing Britain and the US to drop by Ottawa and remove our arrogant and ineffective Prime Minister and his mouthy underlings, before heading home, then the world would surely be a better place all round!

COMING LATE MARCH 2003, TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU... Main Feature     Second Feature     Matinée

VOULEZ VOUS... ( received by e-mail from the East Coast, Canada ) "My favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that says 'First Iraq, then France'." -Tom Brokaw The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France." -Jay Leno "France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rolling thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman Why are all the highways in France lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade!!! "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." - Mark Twain An old saying: "Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French". "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" - Hannibal Lecter "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." -unknown "France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France." -Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." - General George S. Patton "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" -Jacques Chirac, President of France. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." -Rush Limbaugh, "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." - Marge Simpson "Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Quebec, Canada." -Ted Nugent The only way the French are going in with us is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The French Army Q. How do you stop a french Tank? A. Shoot the guy pushing. "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." - Regis Philbin How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him. Q. How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris. A. We don't know, it's never been tried. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." - P.J O'Rourke (1989) The best French bashing line heard over the last week is: "We can count on the French to be there when they need us." REPLACEMENTS FOR THE FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM:   "Runaway" by Del Shannon, "Walk Right In" by the Rooftop Singers, "Everybody's Somebody's Fool" by Connie Francis, "Running Scared" by Roy Orbison,  "I Really Don't Want to Know" by Tommy Edwards,  "Surrender" by Elvis Presley,  "Save It For Me" by The Four Seasons, "Live and Let Die" by Wings,  "I'm Leaving It All Up To You" by Donny and Marie Osmond,  "What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers,  "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin & "Raise Your Hands" by Jon Bon Jovi

HOW SOON THEY FORGET... ( this was received today, Mar 11, from a WW2 Vet in the US - I agree wholeheartedly! - JBoi) The Eiffel Tower could have been part of Germany I HOPE THIS WILL REACH AND SERVE AS A REMINDER TO ALL THE ARROGANT, IGNORANT, AND UNGRATEFUL FRENCH CITIZENS. OUR HOPE IS THAT THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT WAKES UP, SHUTS DOWN THE U.N. (FOR WHICH THEY PAY THE MAJORITY OF COSTS) FOR THOSE WORTHLESS IDIOTS TO SIT IN NICE HOTELS, DRIVE IN LIMOS AND TALK AND DEBATE NOTHING OF VALUE. THE E.U. AND N.A.T.O. HAVE OUTLIVED THEIR USEFULNESS AND HAVE NO PLACE IN TODAY'S WORLD - THEY SHOULD BE DISBANDED. I WONDER IF THE EIFFEL TOWER BECAME A PILE OF RUBBLE ON 9/11, WOULD THE FRENCH STILL WANT TO PRIDE THEMSELVES ON THEIR ARROGANCE? OR WOULD THEY CRY? NEVER!! EVERYONE SHOULD DEMAND OF THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT THAT IMMEDIATE HELP AND ACTION BE TAKEN. DO THE FRENCH REALLY FEEL THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT AS TO MAKE THE FINAL DECISION AND RELISH IN THE FACT THEY ARE IN THE MEDIA AS SELF PROCLAIMED "KEY" MEMBERS? THE ANSWER IS SIMPLY YES! THEY ALL QUICKLY FORGET THAT IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE USA AND HER ALLIES - WE COULD ALL VISIT THE "EIFFEL TOWER OF BERLIN" IN AN EXPANDED GERMANY. PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AS A REMINDER TO ALL WHO HAVE FORGOTTEN THE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF GRAVES OF THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES DEFENDING OUR WAY OF LIFE BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN FRANCE WAS NOT SO ARROGANT AND SELF-SERVING. I leave you with a passage from another great American Hero - (Give him the 'key' again!) "In closing, let me urge consideration and let the exhibition of the Enola Gay accurately reflect the American spirit and victory of August 1945. Those of us who gained that victory have nothing to be ashamed of, neither do we offer any apology. Some suffered, some died. The million or so of us remaining will die believing that we made the world a better place as a result of our efforts to secure peace that has held for almost 50 years. Many of us believe peace will prevail through the strength and resolve of the United States of America". Paul W. Tibbets Command Pilot, Enola Gay, USAF

France awarded yet another dubious honour. New French Flag of Arrogance The Geneva based "Committee for Recognition of International Arrogance" has just named France as the most arrogant country. This so-called recognition is awarded annually to the nation that displays the utmost degree of arrogance. The committee goes on to say that "France won this recognition due to it's arrogant attitude towards other nations and recent stance opposing the US and Britain regarding the Iraq conflict". The French once had a recognizeable "empire" in the eighteenth century and long for the "old days" when they were a recognized world power. They openly resent the influence and affluence of the United States, and French statements and actions consistantly reflect their futile desire to be considered Europe's "leader" and the European equal to the US. The French are quick to dismiss reminders of their well-known lack of spirit and almost automatic capitulation when faced with adversity - one area where they will cetainly never be able to match the US, who holds a record of facing adversity with courage and action. France's recent association with Germany and Russia in opposition to the UN vote on Iraq and "anything American" merely underlines their desire to be seen as THE European Leader, as well as protecting their own vested interests in that they, along with their two new associates, are prime suppliers of arms and biological/chemical testing and production equipment to the Iraqi regime." For those readers asking where Canada and the USA placed in the arrogance ratings, the USA placed No 6 in the listings and Canada placed No 36. Rumour has it that if it were not for Canada's egotistical King and Prime Minister, "Roi JC 1", Canada's rating would have dropped to 46, fourth from the bottom of the group of 50 countries included in the award committee's nomination list. Rumour also has it that if the Canadian province of Quebec ever attains separate nationhood, it will immediately attain a position in the top 5, something to look forward to, eh, Bernard Landry? Ed Note: No one is suggesting that all French citizens are cowards, there are certainly a small number prepared to act courageously when called upon, just that the actions of the country's politicians and officials as a whole appear to suggest that "advancing to the rear, quickly", is a French 'state of mind' brought on by centuries of practice!

Quiz Time! What "distinctly stupid" province run by idiots has developed a new "rip-off" scheme? If you answered "Kebeck" you are correct! Those dependably stupid idiots in Quebec City have just decreed that all Quebec issued birth certificates are invalid - they use the term "insecure" - if issued prior to 1994. Any Quebec born person wishing to obtain a passport or having a need for a birth certificate copy, and who was born prior to 1994 must re-apply to Quebec City for a "secure" birth certificate copy! You see, the idiots running whatever ministry that controls the certificates, have decided that because of all the concerns about terrorism, they have to tighten up security, and reissuing birth certificates is one way to increase control. Oh, did I not mention that there is a charge for re-issuing the new "secure" certificates? Not sure what it is but rest assured they intend to do more than "cover costs" here! Now here is "the rub"! To obtain a new "secure" document, you must fax a copy of your old "insecure" certificate, and they will send back the same thing but now classified as "secure"! So in effect, you are getting the same thing back, the only difference being that your wallet is now lighter to the tune of whatever they charge!! Ah... La "belle province" - contrôlé par les idiots!

I think I have solved the Navy's "helicopter" problems! Just had a brain wave... for years now, we have heard all about the demoralization of the armed forces and lately, the demise of the 40 year old and crumbling Navy Sea-King helicopters. We have also been subjected to embarrassment after embarrassment at the hands of our egotistical and arrogant prime minister and his cronies. The most recent episode, and this appeared in this morning's (Thursday March 6 2003) edition of the Ottawa Citizen, involved the new 'Table 'd Hote' for King JC's trips in the government jets. (Remember, we had two completely capable Challenger private jets at his nib's disposal but that wasn't good enough for his "image" so his nibs decided to purchase two more, at taxpayers expense, for over $100,000,000 [lots of zero's, right?] thus bringing his "fleet" up to four!) The paper itemizes the lunch and dinner fare to be foisted on 'hisself', consisting of 'typical' airline food like lobster, scallops, escargots, vintage wines - you know, typical "Air Canada" type fare (NOT!!). Apparently Cara operations who supplies food to the major airlines, the food you and I get on commercial airlines, was not good enough for our bumbling PM et al. Hey! It's not their money, so why should they be concerned! {Ed Note: I wonder, when "they" are cavorting around in the luxury jets while dining on escargots, lobster and truffles, washed down with some chateauneuf-de-pâpe, do they give any thought to the frequent crashes of the Navy's outdated and long-overdue-for-replacement Sea King helicopters, and occasional injury or death to the pilots? Nah... it's the military's problem, not theirs!! As Marie Antoinette supposedly said... "Let them eat cake"!} Anyway.. as I said above, I think I have solved the problem. George 'Dubya" Bush has Airforce One for his lengthy trips but for "around town" and local trips, he uses a helicopter supplied by the U S Marine Corps, named "Marine One". Now, here's the idea... let's get a Sea King helicopter and name it "Chretien One" and have it at his nibs' disposal! Possibly a few knuckle-biting trips may bring the idiot to his senses and knock some common sense into his head. Worth a try? Of course there is the possibility that 'Roi JC' may like the idea and arrange for a brand spanking new helicopter for his use, and {*expletive*} the armed forces!

Open a Bank account - get a free gun! This one gets our first ever "Double-Star-of-Stupidity" award - and it's obvious why! Even Chretien cannot compete with this unbelievable scheme. Michael Moore - author of "Bowling for Columbine", a commentary on America's lax gun law system, said it ... but I did not believe it.. there is a bank in the US that hands you the gun of your choice when you open a bank account with them. You heard it correctly - open an account - get a gun! Michael states, and I quote "North Country Bank (with branches throughout Northern Michigan) offers you a wide choice of guns when you open up a certificate of deposit account. In effect, they are giving you all of the interest the account will earn in advance in the form of a gun. The bank is also an authorized federal arms dealer so they can do the quick background check right there at the bank. I put $1,000 in a long-term account, they did the background check, and, within an hour, walked out with my new Weatherby—just as you see it in the film. (I did have a choice of getting a pair of golf clubs or a grandfather clock, but they didn’t have either of those hanging on the wall like they did those three rifles). I learned about the bank’s gun offer from an ad in the local paper that showed a gun across the top with the heading, “ More Bang for Your Buck” from North Country Bank. I still have the account and the gun to this day (though I plan to legally “auction” off the gun for charity, and creatively have it destroyed—more on that later!)" Yours truly appreciates and respects guns, has his share of them and sees nothing wrong with reliable people owning them for sporting or collection purposes, but your local bank handing them out for "free"? Too far folks... too far! In case someone wants to come charging back at me waving NRA slogans etc, consider this, and again, the data comes from Michael's wealth of statistical information in "Bowling for Columbine": You might be surprised by how many people are killed by guns each year. Look at these statistics from Bowling for Columbine. Germany: 381, United Kingdom: 68, France: 255, Australia: 65, Canada: 165, Japan: 39, U.S.A.: 11,127 "There are 120 million people in Japan, and 39 gun murders. The equivalent for us should be about 90 murders a year, not over 11,000. And those are just the murders! There are 15,000 gun suicides and 4000 gun accidents. It adds up to about 30,000 people in America each year killed through gun violence." — Michael Moore Makes you wonder, eh?

Technology... ain't it grand! Feathered friends were to be first used as early warning of chemical attacks Friday Feb 28 2003 - Ottawa Citizen.. Operation "Field Chicken" has been shut down, at least for now. The chickens are dead! Just more than a week after 43 chickens were brought into camp to ride into battle with the US Marines in Kuwait, all but two have died. In true military style, most were buried in the soft sand outside of regimental headquarters. Small wooden tombstones mark their graves. There's one for Captain Pop-eye, one for Pfc. King, another for LCpl Pecker and, finally, one marking the grave of The Unknown Chicken. The plan was to use the chickens the way miners once used canaries to warn them of poisonous gas underground. If the Marines moved into southern Iraq during a war, the chickens would be an early signal if Iraq launched biological or chemical weapons. More likely, the birds would have warned the Marines of false alarms that could be set off by non-lethal oil fires. Problem is that the birds started dying the day they arrived and no one could figure out why. One person, CWO Ken King, a city boy from Providence RI has apparently discovered the reason for the demise of these clucking warriors. Ken is the only chicken owner with any birds left alive. He figures that chickens instinctively peck at the ground and since the ground in Kuwait is sand, the chickens were pecking and picking up grains of sand which clog up their giblets or nostrils - whatever. King removed his chickens from the sand and they did just fine. Semper Fi!

Time to save the Navy... Oh Oh! Today's Citizen carried the story... another of the "aging" 40 year old and outdated Navy Sea King helicopters decided to stop flying while about thirty feet above the deck of the Navy's "Algonquin" DDE Destroyer Escort which was on it's way to the Gulf as part of Canada's contribution to "the cause"! The Algonquin, unfortunately, was to be the command center for all combined Gulf naval activities, taking over from US ships which would be redirected elsewhere for active involvement in the Iraq situation. The Algonquin received some deck damage and has to return to port in Halifax. Talk about "another" military embarrassment! Why the Algonquin has to return to port is beyond me! I have an alternative solution which would allow the Algonquin to continue it's voyage to the gulf without interruption. All we have to do is take our somewhat useless Prime Minister, place a propeller-beanie-cap on his head, place him on the Algonquin, and off we go! We now have a "Sea King Jean" helicopter! He will be just as useless as the decrepit Sea King Helicopters but far more useful in this new role than the role of Prime Minister. He also would add to his long-sought-after "Legacy" - surely the world would not pass up an opportunity to remember such an auspicious event! And.. he would take up less deck space than the Sea King so the deck could avoid the need for repair, at least as an interim step. While "Roi J C" was at sea, someone who knew what he was doing (like Paul Martin) could take over the Federal Government reins and get on with the job of properly running the country. Dear Minister of Defence, the Honourable John McCallum - are you listening??

If only we could look into the future... ( following received anonymously from a reader in the USA ) Anyone remember this?? It was 1987! At a lecture the other day they were playing an old news video of Lt.Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration. There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was stunning! He was being drilled by a senator; "Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?" Ollie replied, "Yes, I did, Sir." The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, "Isn't that just a little excessive?" "No, sir," continued Ollie. "No? And why not?" the senator asked. "Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir." "Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned. "By a terrorist, sir" Ollie answered. "Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?" "His name is Osama bin Laden, sir" Ollie replied. At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked. "Because, sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of", Ollie answered. "And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator. "Well, sir, if it was up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth." The senator disagreed with this approach, and that was all that was shown of the clip. By the way, that senator was Al Gore. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Also: Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners." However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. ------------------------------------------------------------------------Hmmm... guess Chretien and his cronies do not have a monopoly on stupidity!

TidBits of Dumbness... Halifax - The Canadian Press - Jennifer Surrette, a member of the Animal Rights Coalition, commenting on the release back into the ocean of an oversize lobster residing in a Halifax grocery store... "we go to the grocery store and every animal you see is dead". A university of Manitoba professor is contesting his conviction on running a stop sign, after nine, yes nine, adjournments. His defence? He is claiming that the word STOP is far too vague!! Duh! Kebec's premier Bernie Landry - for his statement, quoted in the press, saying poor people should manage to feed their children because even birds - with their tiny brains - can do it! Double Duh! Montreal - Wed Feb 16 2003 - the city of Montreal is appealing the acquittal of a 16 year old boy who was given a $118 ticket for making noise by skateboarding downtown. The judge had thrown the case out of court saying the sound of skateboard wheels was not noisy. (JBoi - "what's next? Mothers pushing strollers or prams hauled into court in handcuffs? Disabled wheelchair users surrounded by SWAT teams? High-speed pursuit chases involving tots on "Big Wheels"?) Duh..Duh..Duh! Jboi comment: Rumour has it that the Kebec Department of Tourism, following a program initiated by the French Tourism Authority in Paris (Maison de la France), will soon publish an advisory to tourists travelling in that province this summer, suggesting that visitors refrain from holding up both hands in the air as doing so usually causes everyone in the area to do the same thing accompanied with cries of "nous rendons" {"we surrender"} and as a result, traffic becomes congested, taking hours to clear up! <;^)-

View of the World: Ramblings of an Old Man By Joe Galloway article contributed by Patricia in Raleigh If you aren't interested in the ramblings of an old man, please delete now. If you're still there, pull up a chair and listen. Is there anyone else out there who's sick and tired of all the polls being taken in foreign countries as to whether or not they" like" us? The last time I looked, the word "like" had nothing to do with foreign policy. I prefer 'respect' or 'fear.' They worked for Rome, which civilized and kept the peace in the known world a hell of a lot longer than our puny two centuries-plus. I see a left-wing German got elected to office recently by campaigning against the foreign policy of the United States. Yeah, that's what I want, to be lectured about war and being a "good neighbor" by a German. Their head honcho said they wouldn't take part in a war against Iraq. Kind of nice to see them taking a pass on a war once in while. Perhaps we needed to have the word "World" in front of War. I think it's time to bring our boys home from Germany. Outside of the money we'd save, we'd make the Germans "like" us a lot more, after they started paying the bills for their own defense. Last time I checked, France isn't too fond of us either. They sort of liked us back on June 6th, 1944, though, didn't they? If you don't think so, see how nicely they take care of the enormous American cemeteries up above the Normandy beaches. For those of you who've studied history, we also have a few cemeteries in places like Belleau Woods and Chateau Thierry also. For those of you who haven't studied it, that was from World War One the first time Europe screwed up, and we bailed out the French. That's where the US Marines got the title 'Devil Dogs' or, if you still care about what the Germans think, Teufelhunde." I hope I spelled that right; sure wouldn't want to offend anyone, least of all a German. Come to think of it, when Europe couldn't take care of their Bosnian problem recently, guess who had to help out there also. Last time I checked, our kids are still there. I sort of remember they said they would be out in a year. Gee, how time flies when you're having fun. Now we hear that the South Koreans aren't too happy with us either. They "liked" us a lot better, of course, in June 1950. It took more than 50,000 Americans killed in Korea to help give them the lifestyle they currently enjoy, but then who's counting? I think it's also time to bring the boys home from there. There are about 37,000 young Americans on the DMZ separating the South Koreans from their "brothers" up north. Maybe if we leave, they can begin to participate in the "good life" that North Korea currently enjoys. Uh huh. Sure. I also understand that a good portion of the Arab/Moslem world now doesn't "like" us either. Did anyone ever sit down and determine what we would have to do to get them to like us? Ask them what they would like us to do. Die? Commit ritual suicide? Bend over? Maybe we should follow the advice of our dimwitted, dullest knife in the drawer, Senator Patty Murray, and build more roads, hospitals, day care centers, and orphanages like Osama bin Laden does. What with all the orphans Osama has created, the least he can do is build some places to put them. Senator Stupid says if we would only "emulate" Osama, the Arab world would love us. Sorry Patty, in addition to the fact that we already do all of those things around the world and have been doing them for over sixty years, I don't take public transportation, and I certainly wouldn't take it with a bomb strapped to the guy next to me. Don't get me wrong: I'm not in favor of going to war. Been there, done that. Several times, in fact. But I think we ought to have some polls in this country about other countries, and see if we "like" THEM. Problem is, if you listed the countries, not only wouldn't the average American know if he liked them or not, he wouldn't be able to find them. If we're supposed to worry about them, how about them worrying about us? We were nice to the North Koreans in 1994, as we followed the policies of Neville Clinton. And it seemed to work; they didn't restart nuclear weapons program for a whole year or so. In the meantime, we fed them when they were starving, and put oil in their stoves when they were freezing. In a recent visit to Norway, I engaged in a really fun debate with my cousin's son, a student at a Norwegian University. I was 'lectured' to by this thankless squirt about the American "Empire," and scolded about dropping the atomic bomb on the Japanese. I reminded him that empires usually keep the stuff they take; we don't, and back in 1945 most Norwegians thought dropping ANY kind of bomb on Germany or Japan was a good idea. I also reminded him that my uncle, his grandfather, and others in our family spent a significant time in Sachsenhausen concentration camp, courtesy of the Germans, and they didn't all survive. I further reminded him that if it weren't for the "American Empire" he would probably be speaking German or Russian. Sorry about the rambling, but I just took an unofficial poll here at our house, and we don't seem to like anyone! (JBoi NOTE: I suspect that the reason that Canada was not mentioned in this article is due to the fact that many Americans appreciate what idiots we have 'running' {obvious misnomer} our country and accordingly sympathize with us and feel we have enough to contend with already!!)

Jay Leno said it... We were watching the Tonight Show last night, not unexpectedly, Jay Leno had to touch upon the current UN vs US Iraqi debacle and, again not unexpectedly, like most disgusted Americans, had to comment on the back-stabbing attitude displayed by France. Jay noted that the largest anti-war protests had been held in Paris. (seems like the French government is good at something - organizing rallies and demonstrations). his comment was that as the crowd marched through the arch of the 'Arc de Triomphe', the French government officials rushed out with their hands in the air, screaming, "we surrender"! I guess tigers don't change their stripes! Thanks William Watson, for the phrase "France is a nation of cheese-eating surrender monkeys". Says it all, right?

Let's protect the bad guys... The farce continues! Yesterday, Valentine's day 2003, the somewhat-useless-becoming-even-more-useless United Nations "ganged up" on the US regarding the Iraq situation! "Peaceniks rule - common sense doesn't" would be an eloquent way to describe the day's events! Iraqis must be "rolling in the aisles laughing"! Led by France, Germany and Russia, in that order, and augmented by an obviously politically prompted Hans Blix et al, the Security Council "slapped down" the US and it's desire to obtain some degree of UN acceptance of it's plan to oust the "MadAss" regime by force. What a disgusting farce! France wants the US out of Europe so it can start to appear as the "Leader of the Pack" in the European Union and, at the same time, it's largest biochemical and biotechnical purchasing customer, Iraq, will keep on buying! Germany, the second largest supplier of bio-expertise and bio-products to Iraq, and who also sees itself as another an up-and-coming contender for "leadership" in the European Union, is also adamantly opposed to anything US! (ps... watch for the upcoming pressure for the US to remove it's bases from Germany). Russia, apart from it's tendancy to oppose almost anything US, has just negotiated a major oil contract with Iraq (let's not disrupt that shall we?) and is still THE major arms supplier to Iraq who, by the way, owes them in excess of eight Billion dollars, US dollars that is, and I suspect they would like to get paid, right? Hmmm... wonder why they do not want an Iraqi conflict? (then, of course, a US trip into Iraq would undoubtedly unearth all the sophisticated military "toys" Russia has been selling in violation of recent UN agreements, unbeknownst to most of the world!) Here is the problem! Up until a few years ago, Institutions like the United Nations, Norad, NATO, SEATO etc.. existed as the "policing agents" of the world. The UN was respected and was in a position to flex it's muscle when any threatening situation arose in the world arena. NATO and SEATO were often called upon to act as the muscle for the UN, and UN control was maintained after-the-fact by nation-member provided peacekeeping activities - an area that Canada was experienced in and well respected for. That has all changed! Over the last few years, the UN has been sliding downwards as a reputable world forum. More and more member nations have started letting local and selfish politics rule the day rather than making decisions based on the good of the world order! The United Nations is dying much like the League of Nations did after the first world war. To a great degree, most world nations are starting to follow an apathetic or pacifist road not unlike the one Britian followed on the eve of the second world war - and we all know where that attitude led! With the demise of UN influence and respect, someone had to take over the role of "world policeman"! Enter the United States who is the only real "super power" left since the disintegration of Russia with it's provincial breakup and faltering economy. (This status of course, runs contrary to the aspirations of the French whose desire is to revive 16-17th century imperalism and once again become a truly recognized world power - which will never happen until their military learns to advance forward, rather than rapidly advancing to the rear in all cases of crises!). In times of old, the US, in it's "policeman role" was tolerated because it's strength kept the soviet threat at bay! With that threat gone, the "need" has disappeared! If 9-11 had occurred downtown Paris or in Berlin, guess where the situation would be now! France or Germany would be kneeling at Washington's doorstep, pleading for military support to combat the evil terrorist threat! The US would be seen as a "good guy" as it, and it alone, had the power and inclination to effectively oppose such a threat. Unfortunately, that is not the case. 9-11 happened in the US so, in reality, even though there is some degree of empathy on the part of the likes of France, Germany, Russia etc.., it is "not their problem" so back to business as usual, and that means supporting a lucrative trade with Iraq. No way are these self-centered nations going to support any activity that will disrupt their own economic enterprises! The sad thing here is that past European generations appreciated the help the US gave them when the Nazi thugs were overrunning their lands. How quickly they forget! Now if only we could convince Al-Queda to blow up the Eiffel Tower or Brandenburg Gate rather than make any further strike in the US, then things may get back to normal and the US presence may again be appreciated! France, Germany and Russia - you are ungrateful, self-centered fools! Smarten up!

Does Kebec emulate France over Iraq, cluck...cluck...cluck? There should be no surprise over the fact that this writer is not impressed with Kebec francophone attitudes towards military action and crises (see article above) - in fact, it is a time tested fact that given a crisis situation, the average Kebec francophone would rather "run" than "fight", following the time honoured practice of their overseas "motherland"! Bridget Pellerin's article in the Ottawa Citizen this morning (Thursday February 13th) adds credence to that feeling and suggests to me that I am not alone in this way of thinking! In her article, Ms Pellerin quotes Economist William Watson who claims the US media says, and I quote, "France is a nation of cheese-eating surrender monkeys"! I love it - so articulate! Mr. Watson disagrees with that analysis and points out that public opinion in France is not unanimously anti-war. On the otherhand, Ms Pellerin states that "This is unfortunately not something someone can say about francophone Quebec"! Ms Pellerin aptly puts it by stating "That Quebecers are a pacifist bunch is no surprise, as any Second World War veteran can tell you. Pacifism is not in itself a flaw, nor is informed and articulate opposition to war in Iraq. What's distressing is the unanimity of francophone Quebecers in the crucial debate". From reading the articles, one quickly comes to the realization that Quebec's attitude can be easily summed up with a quote from Bernard Landry who questions "when do we kill people who did not attack us?", in other words, if it's not an attack on Kebec, who gives a darn! - and this is a government who wishes one day to become a sovereign nation in the world community? Well, Mr Landry, I suspect that there are a number of francophone quebeckers who would like to be a part of Canada and who recognize that evil must be contested! Those are the folks who fought in the world wars and Korea, and who would gladly help kick madass Hussien's rear end if given the choice. Alas, however, the majority of Kebec francophones do feel that whatever happens outside of the borders of their precious and isolated "nation", is not really their problem. Sadly, if Quebec were threatened by anyone, Canada would pull out all the stops to help defend it! Conversely, if Canada were threatened, there would be a mass exodus of francophone quebeckers heading into the woods or running away elsewhere - if they could! What a cowardly bunch! Nuff said!

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE... ( don't know the source of this one - crossed my desk, so here it is... ) Osama Bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Laden" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, down 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!" "Well Archie," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Osama paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?", Osama asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." Osama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!" Osama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "Mr. Laden! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners." CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING... I had to see it to believe it! Tuesday (Feb 4th 2003) morning's Ottawa Citizen carried an article - apparently the U.N. has named Iraq as the "Chair of the UN's Disarmament Conference" as of March. Hmmm... ALSO, two weeks ago the U.N. named Libya as "Chair of the UN Human Rights Commission! Double Hmmm..! Hey, I see it all now... Jean Chrétien named Chair of the Anti-Corruption Commission!! Kebek's Landry named Chair of National Solidarity!! BC Premier Gordon Campbell appointed Chair of a Committee to manage the Spotted Owl and reduce forestry activities and also named as spokesman for M.A.D.D.! Hmm.....!! So much for UN credibility!! Now the UN is following the same path as the defunct League of Nations which was disbanded as being ineffective following the first world war! Possibly the US is right, kick butt in Iraq, or North Korea too for that matter - nothing positive will come out of the UN and somebody has to "police" matters before these little war-mongering demi-gods cause some catastrophe! The United Nations has reduced it's effectiveness to that of a forum for whiners, where unimportant and wimpy nations can "have a say" in global matters! It's all politics and the general welfare of the world has long ago been placed on the back burner. Look at recent events - Russia is against any movement on Iraq, possibly due to the recent multi-billion dollar deal concerning purchase of Iraqui oil & it's renowned weapons sales? Hmmm...! France and Germany have paired up to oppose any movement on Iraq, possibly as they see themselves the new "leaders" of the European Union and they want an opportunity to flex their muscles, especially against the "imperialistic" US? (plus their vested interest in supplying ALL Iraq's chemical & biological equipment needs). Hmmm....! Some "leadership"!! France - the country with the worlds' record for capitulation when faced with any adversity whatsoever - example is the WW2 capitulation and Vichy government actions (exception being the brave heroics of the French underground of course). No need to question why the Kebec separatiste fringe runs rather than confronts when opposed - it's their heritage! (remember the cowardly military "volunteers" in Sorel Kebec, 1939, who tried to run away from serving their country? Remember why conscription did not happen in Canada during WW2 - Kebec (with the exception of a few brave and heroic souls) generally "chickened out" and the Feds felt that an "English Canada-only" conscription would be political suicide). Then Germany - two wars started, two wars lost, they have a lousy "track record" - it's in their blood - they feel "superior" to anyone else and have to continuously promote that belief! Even their national anthem - often called "Deutschland ueber Alles" - has been translated to reflect ambitions of conquest and enslavement of other countries! There may be a "circle of life" - hopefully there is no "circle of politics", at least as far as Der Deutschland is concerned! Now all these two primadonnas have to do is work out whether the "new Europe" will be called "Gerfrance" or "Fragermany" - decisions... decisions... decisions!

COUNTDOWN TO WAR... Friday Jan 31 2003 - It was announced today that if Canada's somewhat ineffective and draconian government can pull itself away from the habit of fence-sitting, and declare support for an attack on Iraq, then the Military is ready to contribute to the effort. The RCR (Royal Canadian Regiment) - 3d Battalion stationed at Camp Petawawa north-west of Ottawa, has confirmed that it has been practicing for desert warfare and is now willing and able to join in the campaign when and if asked! It was confirmed that the unit had just completed maneuvres in -30C degree weather and deep snow as a exercise in preparedness to desert warfare. Hmmm...!! When questioned about the differences between cold weather and deep snow vs hot weather and sand, the response was that there is really no difference - an "ambush" is an "ambush" regardless of the climate and terrain. Hmmm..!! The military stated that joining the Iraq conflict would be conditional on a number of items. They would go if the US or other Allies would supply transportation for troops and equipment should U-Haul not be able to lend a hand in this department, and if someone would lend them desert clothing. The clothing used in the recent maneuvres was white and may stand out against sand dunes and could be quite ineffective for nighttime operations. This would not stop the mobilization of the Battalion however, as one soldier put it "we can do the same thing we did in Afghanistan, we bleached and re-bleached our green uniforms to make them lighter - that helped, especially at nighttime when night-vision goggles makes everything look light green!" So it looks that Canada may be joining the upcoming fray! Now if the cheapskates in Ottawa will only send the troops the bullets they have been asking for....

Just saw the latest news on Iraq protests - OK. Sunday morning (Jan 19, 2003) and I just finished watching the news concerning all the protests over the impending war in Iraq. I often wonder how many of these protesters really understand what they are protesting about. If you discount the Fascist element, the usual number of hell-raising communist sympathizers, those Muslim supporters who feel anything anti-Arabic is heresy, the 'anti-anything-American' crowd, also the usual group of university and college students who support "protesting-against-anything-for-the-sake-of-protesting-against-anything", then what is left is a group of easily manipulated individuals who have obviously not taken the time to think matters through carefully! If there isn't already, there should be a saying ... "Hearts of gold and minds of jelly"! They mean well but reality has escaped them!!! OK! What are they protesting? - the possibility of a unilateral US assault on Iraq, or for others, any assault on Iraq even with UN blessings! The "anti-war-regardless" crowd is very prominent here. No one likes war - it is destructive, results in great loss of life, destroys families and accomplishes little - but at times when all reason fails, it may be the only resolve! What would happen if the protesters had their way and everyone "backed off" the Iraqi question? Lets take a look at a hypothetical scenario; MadAss Hussein and his cronies would definitely continue striving to enhance their power within the country, and within the eyes of the Arab world as a whole, and the best way of doing that would be to increase their armament capacity - this is what they have always done! In my opinion, the Arabic world knows one thing and one-thing-only concerning power and prestige - that is military might - and always with a view to one day eliminating the penultimate threat to their "world" - Israel! Everything "they" do is based on this anticipation! So military might is power! MadAss Hussien will eventually develop or purchase a nuclear capacity - that is virtually guaranteed! The Arab world would be impressed with any Arab state being in the "big league" and having the "power" to stand up against any oppressor, especially the American "Infidels"! With nuclear weapons in his war chest, MadAss Hussein would be revered by his Arabic brothers - and with his ego, would cherish the thought of placing Iraq in general, and he in particular, into the history books as a prominent force within the Arab world! OK, so he acquires nuclear capability, what then? With that man's (MadAss) illogical reasoning powers, now self-designated as the "saviour" of the Arabic world, he will start to flex his military power, either voluntarily or as a result of manipulation by other Arab leaders! Rest assured, that flexing will be immediately directed at the State of Israel! He cannot target US interests in the middle east as that would amount to targeting other Arab nations! He cannot target the US itself, the distance is too far and that is simply "out of his league" - he knows this! The only option, and the one that will be looked upon favourably by other Arab nations, is to target Israel! So, with his "nuclear capacity" supporting his actions, he will one day attack Israel, probabably a pre-emptive strike using biological or chemical weaponry! A conventional military action would probably not work as it is well understood that Israeli forces are far superior in capability and armament, and coupled with facing annihilation as a country, their resistance would be fanatical! No, the only assault with any chance of success would be a massive strike using non-conventional weapons. Too long a conflict would quickly draw the USA into the skirmish due to existing treaties with Israel. A "quick-and-it's-over" assault with an Iraqi victory and Arab world accolade, may cause the US political world to pause and rethink any immediate response. So... Iraq attacks quickly and massively in a chemical or bio attack! That's that - right? Wrong! Israel has "the bomb" - their "Jericho II" rocket (derivative of the Shavit SLV satellite launching vehicle) can hit anything in the Arab world, and their nuclear capability also includes limited-yield nuclear field artillery and "cruise" missile weaponry. If attacked on a massive scale, their response would be immediate - and nuclear! There is absolutely no doubt about it, Israel would have no choice! Bye Bye Bhagdad and Basra! The problem is that this might create a massive mobilization by the Arab world - and off we go!!! So much for the middle east oil supply the world depends on - it could quickly become radioactive and unuseable! So... all you protesters out there... best think this one through again! It is sad to suggest this, but most historians would probably agree, that if all of you were alive back in early 1939, you would be out protesting western military attitudes towards Hitler's Germany. Look at the difficulty Winston Churchill had in persuading the naive British Gouvernment into starting to think about arming the nation as a prelude to the forthcoming conflict! You may think there is no parallel here, but there is! Prior to the war, too many people thought Hitler was not "dangerous", a little imperalistic yes, but not really dangerous! MadAss Hussein shares all the traits of the little moustached Bavarian corporal - let MadAss aquire "the bomb" and watch out! The Kurds in Northern Iraq that he gassed with nerve gas know better! This is not Vietnam, the VC were not on the verge of developing "weapons of mass destruction" - they were fighting for what they saw as reunification of their homeland! Ho Chi Min was a capable military strategist and quite rational! MadAss Hussein is an ego-driven megalomaniac who is really dangerous! The Iraqi scenario is totally different and has global catastrophic possibilities! There are better causes to protest over! MadAss Hussein is pure evil! He must be stopped before the above scenario - or worse - becomes a reality! Unless a coup happens - and with his gestapo-quality internal control that will probably never occur - the only option is to militarily destroy his regime! Now is the opportunity - we should take it! Stop supporting Iraq's ambitions through ill-conceived protests!

Sometimes a picture says it all - PLEASE... 2004 come soon!! (for our American friends who may ask.. 2004 is the date our idiot P M has promised to resign!) ( courtesy Michael DeAdder - published Friday January 31 Ottawa Citizen) ( CLICK for larger image )

Letter to the Ottawa Citizen - Monday Dec 9 2002 OK, I've had it! Like most Canadians, over the last many years, I have watched in growing dismay (and embarrassment) at the never-ending antics of our not-so-beloved Prime Minister Jean (Roi/King) Chretien! Mr. Chretien, you are searching for your "true legacy". Why? You have already established it! Pierre Elliot Trudeau will be remembered for his panache and repatriating the Constitution. Lester B Pearson will be remembered for his diplomacy and the Nobel Prize he was justifiably awarded. Louis St. Laurent will be remembered for his role in establishing the St. Lawrence Seaway. William L. M. King (forget the dog) brought in the Canadian Pension Plan. Mr. Chretien, you, on the otherhand, have far more to be remembered for - and little of it for the common good! Let's see now... under your "guidance" the government has: - demoralized and degraded the Canadian Forces almost to the point of ineffectiveness, - allowed the HRDC $1 billion "boondoggle" to occur (hey, it's only taxpayers money, right?), - driven US and Canadian relations to a very low point and embarrassed Canada in the eyes of the world through your never-ending faux-pa's, goofs, and indeciseveness! Let's see... "Washington.. Dino" right? - indirectly, through reduced Federal funding sharing, allowed our beloved Health Care system to drift into an almost ineffective state of disrepair, losing unrecoverable practitioner expertise during the process. - then there was the "Shawinigate" affair of course, - golf anyone? - structured the Ethics Commissioner's office in such a way as to keep that office "under the thumb" and ineffective! - refused to act in a managerial capacity when Cabinet Ministers or underlings acted in an improper manner (such as the Francoise Ducros affair and Alfonso Gagliano fiasco) and, even worse, adopted a policy of "denial" and "rewarding" wrong-do'ers! - mismanaged UI premium funding resulting in a surplus of some $25 Billions then continuously whining about not having any money for the military or health care. - attempted to avoid settling a $1.26 billion law suit for back interest payments being sought by Canadian War Veterans, - they fought for our country, they died for our country so they are justified in recovering what is "owed" to them - period - they should not have to fight for it! - of course, there is the infamous Challenger jet $100+ million story - the PMO's office "needed" a brand new jet for esthetic reasons, although existing jets available were more than adequate (hey! maybe we should be lucky he did not demand a 747 "Chretien One" similar to George Bush's "Airforce One"!) - and the final attack on Canadian sensibility - J C's announcement regarding retirement but hesitation to do so until 2004, and his continuous program of attacking his possible successor, Paul Martin! Good God man, time to hit the pasture - please - get on with it! IT IS TIME TO GO and allow Canada to regain it's honour and respectability! Nothing personal, of course, it's just that the PM is less than a good Prime Minister and the present Government is ineffective and appears at times to be somewhat corrupted - WE deserve better! - and then there is the "franconization" issue, and compulsory "bilingualism" policy that is costing Canadian business and consumers a fortune, and at the same time, cow-towing to the whines and childish dictates of the Kebec séparatistes - but that's another story! PLEASE, Mr Chretien - SAY BYE-BYE NOW! Do not waste more of our time and dollars by hanging on until 2004 - the Country wants you OUT now, so someone with more political savvy and less affinity for patronage (ie" Paul Martin) can get on with rebuilding Canada's prestige and getting down to business. We cannot afford any more misspent dollars and loss of international respect! edit: since the above was submitted, the Firearm Registry debacle has come to light - you know, the $2 Million dollar plan to control firearms that boomed into a Billion dollar boondoggle? What can be said - "he done did it again"! J.C Rules - Canadians pay! PLEASE Canadians - contact your local MPP - send the word - Chretien has to go!! NOW!

January 2003 - The two US pilots who accidentally bombed Canadian troops are on trial in Louisiana Well, not really on trial, but are attending hearings as a prelude to possible court-martial proceedings - but that is not the issue. The pilots "goofed" and as a result four soldiers died and a number of others were injured. It was not deliberate - and the pilots erred, whether through fatigue, overuse of compulsory "go" pill amphetamines, lack of activity knowledge or whatever, they simply made a mistake. In times of military conflict these things happen. The terminology "friendly fire" is well known to anyone with a military background. The hearings may be valuable in that a sincere examination of procedures and control systems may prevent this sort of occurance happening again. Friendly fire killed thousands in WW11 and almost as many in Vietnam but what makes this event newsworthy is that coalition (Canadian) troops were involved, not US troops. This writer, as all Canadians and I suspect most Americans, regrets the incident and understands that the two pilots involved must be penalized for an apparent disregard for procedures -but- possible jail time on murder charges is not warranted. This is the military and combattants are placed under unusual stress when in a combat area, and this stress causes accidents. Yes, such events should not occur! Yes, procedures should be amended to ensure they do not reoccur! Yes, the pilots should be punished through demotion or other reasonable means! NO, they should not face jail time for making a mistake while serving their country! Nuff said!

And how's the world doing today...? Hmmm... today's newspaper (June 12 2002) carried quite an assortment of articles confirming common sense and ethics may be disappearing! Good old JC hit the news columns again. Just before the 2000 election, Chretien's government gave the provinces one billion dollars, intended to improve the health system by purchasing diagnostic and treatment equipment, you know, purchase things such as MRI's, dialysis machines etc. Guess what - over half of this amount was spent on items such as lawn mowers, sewing machines and photocopiers. So if you are in hospital, facing major surgery and you see someone pushing a lawn mower toward you - RUN! Chretien is up to his old tricks again. He is getting criticism about increasing corruption complaints - "'ow dare hanyone criticize dis government - h'its not propper"! So... he brings in a new code of ethics, hoping to placate the opposition and disgruntled backbenchers. Also, (and this may have been "planned" - 'ya think?) the new code includes conditions whereby Prime Ministerial would-be's (Hmmm Paul Martin??) may have to divulge contribution sources - which in turn may scare away future contributors -or- open such contributors to the wrath of the government! Chretien... you are one sneaky B-stard, JC! While on the topic of King JC and his "Court" of imbiciles, here are another couple of tid-bits about his antics: - He sent his grandson to Florida on a government Challenger jet at public expense - tsk! tsk!! - JC held a private reception for 1,200 wealthy Liberal contributors at 24 Sussex Drive - at public expense! Guess these are acceptable "perks" included with the job, right? (NOT!) Then there is the issue of the $330,000 given to a Kebec sports show company for a show that was cancelled - guess what? No one asked for the money back!! Boy are WE in the wrong business - we have to work for our money! OK! Enough JC stuff. I wonder to what levels the "bleeding hearts" of this world will go when considering REAL problem areas. For example, the "turn the other cheek" crowd, condemning Israel for it's aggressive stance against the Palestinian terrorists - why can't Israel back off and "give the Palestinians a chance" - let them have their own land etc.. Well, dear do-gooders, time to face reality! A recent poll taken in Palestine confirmed that over half of all those polled, stated that no matter what concessions were made by Israel, their view would not change - they would not rest until Israel was destroyed and totally eradicated! Fat chance for negotiations with that attitude methinks! Then the same bleeding hearts started whining about poor old Al Muhajir - that poor Arab-American arrested for attempting to set up a terrorist detonation of a "dirty" bomb (conventional explosives attached to radioactive materials) in the USA. The US government has placed him "incommunicado" as an "enemy combattant"! Hey, there is no doubt - this potential muderer tried to kill thousands in the misguided name of Islam - and these do-gooders want to forgive him? Want him treated "fairly"? I think I'm going to "throw up"! Finally - again, from today's paper, another do-gooder yet to "face reality"! "Sister Kinsella", allegedly a lady of the cloth, suggested we all "forgive" Palestinian bombers and terrorists! "They need our forgiveness and respect"! Hey! the old saying "..forgive them for they know not what they do" has it's limitations! These murderers know exactly what they are doing! They are trained to murder, they want to murder, they murder, effectively - so let's forget any thoughts of forgiving them! They should be reviled and punished - they should have only two options - live peacefully or die - period! The only good murdering terrorist is a dead terrorist - keep it simple & dig lots of holes in the cemeteries!

Now we know why Chretien does what he does... Interesting article in today's (Tues, June 3d 2002) Ottawa Citizen - headed "How Liberal politics really work in Quebec" - explains many of good old JC and his "gang"'s actions - comes down to how they were "taught" the political game I guess! Here is the article, written by Jack Aubrey: The crisis that has overtaken Jean Chretien's government has deflected attention from the ethical debate in which the recent round of cabinet bloodletting began.In the fourth part of the National Post-Ottawa Citizen series on Liberal mismanagement and misdeeds, we look at the grubby political culture of Quebec. Antonio Genest was a hard man to find in Shawinigan during the 1972 election campaign, even though he was the Conservative candidate running against Jean Chretien. That's because, secretly, he was Mr. Chretien's friend, and, to help the future prime minister win the election, he spent most of the campaign virtually hiding out in his Grand-Mere, Que., hotel rather than stumping. The deceit worked so well in 1972 - Mr. Chretien won by an impressive 17,000 votes after almost losing in 1968 - that the scheming pair did it again in 1974; this time Mr. Genest ran as the pseudo-candidate for the Socred party. He later said he did it as payback after Mr. Chretien found his son a job at a national park. The tactic worked by drawing votes away from the Liberals' main right-wing opponent, while presenting no opposition; Mr. Genest did not give a single political speech during the entire 1974 campaign. Both men confessed to the skullduggery years later. And, years later, Mr. Genest sat in his favourite watering hole in Grand-Mere, still awaiting his reward for his role in making a prime minister. "If you see him, tell him I'm still waiting for my call," he told an interviewer. The Genest stalking-horse ploy offers a telling glimpse into quebec politics. Mr. Chretien may have been elected prime minister in 1993 on a platform of honesty and integrity in government, but that is not how the political game is played in his home province." ed: - funny how such a short article spells out the reason for such a large problem, isn't it!

When 'corrupt' just won't do it, how about slimy, warped, putrid... It's not often that I see an editorial that I truly agree with - but here's one, gleaned from the April 30th 2002 Ottawa Citizen, written by Don Martin of the Calgary Herald - it's a "classic"! The word "corrupt" was fired at the Liberal front bench three times in the largely deserted House of commons last week. Clearly, now that the Opposition has learned the charge irks the Liberal leadership, it will gleefully use it incessantly. But in any battle of barbs, creativity counts. So the victory goes to Deputy Prime Minister John Manley who dismissed the Canadian Alliance as an "empty hollow bag of wind." Gee, now that hurts. But with so many alternatives, levelling mere "corruption" accusations at a government working so hard to smear the political profession on so many other fronts should be avoided lest it lose its sting. Besides, as Health Minister Anne McLellan correctly noted, "If anyone thinks that anything I have done or any colleague has done is corrupt, they should be going straight to the police because that's the nature of corruption". So to assist the Opposition as it casts about for just the right word, might I suggest the following be referenced as a dictionary of dirt to define the sort of "corruption" it has encountered in the last year: Slippery: Ambassador Alfonso Gagliano, naturally. The diversion of taxpayer dollars and jobs to friendly corporations and political allies by this then public works minister was so rank, even the Liberals couldn't stand the smell. Which brings us to... Scuzzy: Such is the prime minister's argument that he's never fired a minister when, in reality, he should've canned half a dozen and spared taxpayers the cost of a patronage parachute for landing in foreign service or Senate clover. Also qualifies as disingenuous. Slimy: Rushing through an untendered $101-million contract to buy two new jets for the prime minister and his cabinet out of over-stretched miltary budgets is slimy. Or insidious. Or depraved. Or unconscionable. Take your pick! Disrespectful: The feuding petulant duo of Canadian Alliance MP Jason Kenney and Tory Elsie Wayne fit this bill - he for denying unanimous consent to a motion calling for a Canadian Forces Day and she for taking revenge by denying consent for Kenney's motion calling for two minutes of silence on Remembrance Day. Shabby: Finance committee chairwoman Sue Barnes may have gone through the motions of securing legal and ethical clearance to deal with a beer tax issue despite her husband's job in a major brewery, but to not declare it openly and abstain from related decisions was, well, rotten: As in Den- mark, see ambassador as in Gagliano under slippery above. Putrid: The still unresolved question of the $570,000 photocopy of the $550,000 lost report compiled by Groupaction of Montreal, with a more pungent whiff coming from the various billing agencies being connected to hefty Liberal party donations. Sullied: As in Art Eggleton's reputation, after it took three briefings for the defence minister to understand that taking prisoners in Afghanistan is a battlefield development worthy of notifying the prime minister. Unforgiveable: The collecting of leadership cash for Finance Minister Paul Martin by those under contract to advise his Finance Department. Sorry, Jim Palmer of Calgary; that's you. Warped: The whole "Shawinigate" mess, from covering the prime minister's riding with pork to passing off scrawls on napkins as contracts in golf-course sales. There isn't enough space in this section to detail the twists and turns of this caper. Fraud: That would be the federal gun registry; the mother of all monetary sinkholes, which was set up to cost $85 million and is now closing in on the $800-million mark for a service riddled with registration-information errors. Unjust: Letting only two of 235 private member's bills pass through the preliminary voting stage, only to be killed by the Liberal majority at committee. Chicanery: The verbal gymnastics of dancing around the Liberal campaign promise to make the ethics counsellor accountable to Parliament instead of the prime minister. Sorry, Jean, it's just not the same. Hypocritical: Why, hello, Allan Rock, the former health minister who gladly ignored patent laws by ordering a generic anthrax antibiotic, only to become the cheerleader for patent protection as the current industry minister in charge of those laws. Scheming: The U-turn taken by veteran Alliance MPs who campaigned mightily against the parliamentary pension, only to buy into the sweetheart deal last year. Yes, in some cases, the corruption of fundamental principles is almost corrupt. Don Martin writes for the Calgary Herald. (Ed comment) Whoops! Sorry Don, you missed a 'biggie' ... Plain old-fashioned STUPID: This one goes to the immigration department which allows non-Canadian nationals employed in embassies around the world, to control immigration policy, like "Duh!... what are the chances of unsavourable types entering the country as a result?? Hmmm... more on this one below..!

"The country the world forgot, again" - a British tribute to Canada's lost soldiers. ( this article appeared in the April 28th 2002 Ottawa Citizen - worth a read - <;^)-) Until the deaths last week of four Canadian soldiers accidentally killed by a US warplane in Afghanistan, probably almost no one outside their home country had been aware that Canadian troops were deployed in the region. As always, Canada will now bury its dead, just as the rest of the world, as always, will forget its sacrifice, just as it always forgets nearly everything Canada ever does. It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid of both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance. A fire breaks out, she risks life and liinb to rescue her fellow dance-goers, and suffers serious injuries. But when the hall is repaired and the dancing resumes, there is Canada, the wallflower still, while those she once helped glamorously cavort across the floor, blithely neglecting her yet again. That is the price Canada pays for sharing the North American continent with the United States, and for being a selfless friend of Britain in two global conflicts. For much of the 20th century; Canada was torn in two different directions: it seemed to be a part of the old world, yet had an address in the new one, and that divided identity ensured that it never fully got the gratitude it deserved. Yet its purely voluntary contribution to the cause of freedom in two World wars was perhaps the greatest of any democracy. Almost 10 per cent of Canada's entire population of seven million people served in the armed forces during the First World War, and nearly 60,000 died. The great Allied victories of 1918 were spearheaded by Canadian troops, perhaps the most capable soldiers in the entire order of battle. Canada was repaid for its enormous sacrifice by downright neglect, its unique contribution to victory being absorbed into the popular memory as somehow or other the work of the "British". The Second World War provided a rerun. The Canadian navy began the war with a half-dozen vessels, and ended up policing nearly half of the Atlantic against U-boat attack. More than 120 Canadian warships participated in the Normandy landings, during which 15,000 Canadian soldiers went ashore on D-Day alone. Canada finished the war with the third-largest navy and the fourth-largest air force in the world. The world thanked Canada with the same sublime indifference as it had the previous time. Canadian participation in the war was acknowledged in film only if it was necessary to give an American actor a part in the film, where the US had clearly not participated - a touching scrupulousness which, of course, Hollywood has since abandoned, as it has any notion of a separate Canadian identity. So it is a general rule that actors and filmmakers arriving in Hollywood keep their nationality unless, that is, they are Canadian! Thus Mary Pickford, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox, Shania Twain, William Shatner, Norman Jewison, Pamela Anderson, David Cronenbeig and Dan Aykroyd have in the popular perception become American, and Christopher Plummer British. It is as if in the very act of becoming famous, a Canadian ceases to be Canadian, unless she is Margaret Atwood or Celine Dion. But Canadians proudly say of themselves - and are unheard by anyone else - that one per cent of the world's population has provided 10 per cent of the world's peacekeeping forces. Yet the only foreign engagement that has entered the popular non-Canadian imagination was the sorry affair in Somalia, in which out-of-control paratroopers killed two Somali infiltrators. So who in the U.S. knows about selfless friendship its northern neighbour has given it in Afghanistan? This past weekend four shrouds, red with blood and maple leaf, head homewards - and four more grieving Canadian families know that cost all too tragically well. This article originally appeared in the April 2st edition of The London Sunday Telegraph - Kevin Myers.

Israel vs Palestinians - who's right? The debate goes on!!! The world 'condemns' Israel for invading Palestine camps. The world also 'condemns' Arafat's 'bomb-toting-kiddies' for blowing up innocent Israeli citizens! So what is new? A legally created country's existance is threatened by outside sources and it reacts in the only language it's assailants recognize - force! War is not "nice" and war is not "fair" - war is cruel and people get hurt and die - non-combattants as well! All I hear about on the 'news' is a growing pressure for Israel to "pull back" after which the "other guys" will stop murdering innocents through the latest "martyr & bomb" killing program! Who is kidding whom? The current struggle has little to do with Palestinians wanting their own "homeland", it has nothing to do with Israel wanting to be "imperialistic" - it has everything to do with an arab desire to have Israel "go away" - *poof* - disappear! Simply put, the Arab nations "hate" Israel and her existance! They "hate" the fact that the US uses Israel as a controlling device to ensure the Arab League is kept in control and the Muslim Fundamentalists (aka fanatics) are kept at bay (something to do with oil supply to the west??)! If Israel succumbs to the current "world pressure" and withdraws from the West bank and Gaza, nothing will happen - the bombings will not cease, on the otherhand, in true arab style proven through history, the arab nations will see the withdrawl as a sign of "weakness" and feel world pressure is "on their side" and, accordingly, you will see more pressure placed on Israel directly, and the US indirectly! The only way all this will cease is to create a palestinian state, move all palestinians there, move all Israelis back into a defined Israel, and build one heck of a large wall between the two. Good 'razorwire' border management combined with modern technology could easily make such a barrier impenetrable - hey! This might work. It could work unless the Arab league, especially the "nutbars" in Syria, Lebanon, Iraq and Iran decide that a "Jehad" or "Holy War" was feasable in which case Israel would almost certainly defend itself using tactical weaponry (count on it!). This doomsday scenario increases as time progresses and the world discovers more alternative fuel sources, and I suggest that the day the hydrogen fuel cell becomes commercially feasable will be the day the US starts to pull back on it's support for Israel - and when that day comes, Israel's vunerability starts to increase! There really is no 'answer' until the hatred ceases and I cannot see diplomacy doing anything constructive in this regard - so build a wall!!

The Bloc Quebec - dependably STUPID! One must pause and wonder how a great country like Canada can be "blessed" with such a stupid bunch of idiots such as Quebec's "federal" party - the Bloc Quebec (aka "BlockHeads" - good fit!). The Canadian Government, like all other governments around the globe, issued a letter of condolence to Britain's Royal Family over the passing of the Queen Mother. Nice move, and simple, right? Nope! - not in the halls of the Kebec BlockHeads! The letter of condolence referred to Canadians as "subjects" -SO- (why are we surprised?) the BlockHeads took umbrage at Kebeckers being included in the category of "subjects"! (guess they only like being classed as "subjects" of "King" ... er sorry..."Roi" Landry!) What a disgusting, classless lot - bet their mothers are embarrassed they gave birth to them! Even in the hour of another country's grief, they have to resurrect their little spasms of mindless petty politics! How do we get rid of these vermin? If anyone has any ideas, please let me know! In the meantime, I am thinking of setting up a fund to seek donations so Canadians can collectively hire a pest-extermination company like PCO to pop down to Kebec and eliminate this scruffy lot! Either that or start loading clips!

Disclaimer: I do not consider myself a bigot or racist! I respect minority groups, appreciate other cultures and encourage emigration to my country. BUT I am deeply concerned and offended about growing demands by minority groups and a careless government immigration attitude that may, one day, result in my becoming a member of a minority group (if you live in Toronto, you already know what I mean) - with some current minority groups, by virtue of numeric superiority, being able to legally install their foreign culture, anti-Christian values and moral code, as the 'norm', subjecting all Canadians to oppressive laws and regulations.

(opinions expressed above are the personal views of the writer(s) and are intended for private viewing only. Reference to actual individuals apart from politicians is not intended and reference to politicians and public figures is really intended if that reference is of a degrading and critical nature - what the heck, this is a satire page, right? Also.. we would like to 'promise' that no animals were hurt in the preparation of these articles - but hopefully, we cannot make the same claim about politicians, the stupid ones especially!)